Nahum 1

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Old Testament
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1 O hai dis iz a viziun Nahum had about Nineveh.

Ceiling Cat iz mad at Nineveh

2 Ceiling Cat is jelus an alwaiz getz evn.
He getz evn n he iz realli pisst.
He getz evn wif hiz enemiz
and staiz pisst at his enemiz.
3 Ceiling Cat iz powrfl. He duz not get pisst ovr nothing.
But when he duz all teh bad d00dz wil be sorri.
He maekz tornaedoez an stormz
an when he walkz hiz pawz stur up cloudz.
4 He sez to teh sea "Ur bad" n it driez up.
Teh rivrz drai up too.
Bashan and Carmel drai up
an all teh flowrz in Lebanon turnz grai.
5 Teh mountnz shaek
an teh hillz melt liek ice creem.
Teh world trembulz
an so duz evribodi in it.
6 Who can taek hiz angr?
Who can taek hiz angr? (I sed dat alreddi, but itz importnt)
Hiz angr iz liek fier
an it braekz all teh rockz.
7 Ceiling Cat iz good.
he protektz u when tiemz is bad,
if u trust him he taekz caer of u.
8 But he wil maek a flood
an get rid of Nineveh.
He will chaes hiz enemiz into teh darknis.
9 Dey trai to figr out how to stop him
but hez too smart for dat.
Dey wont get awai wif it twaice.
10 Dey wil get stuk in teh weedz
n drunk
n eated up.
11 Sumwun comed from Nineveh
Who maekz evul planz
an givz bad advaice.
12 Ceiling Cat sez:
"U haz lotz of frendz
but dey wil all die.
I wuz hard on Judah
but I wont do datz no moar.
13 Now I wil taek off ur collar
n set u free."
14 Ceiling Cat sez to Nineveh:
"U no getz kittens.
I wil braek ur idolz
dat iz in ur tempul.
I wil dig u a graev
bcz u suck."
15 Look up in teh mountnz
n u will see sumwun's feetz. He bringz good news
an sez "Peace!"
Judah - hav partiz
n keep ur promisiz.
Teh bad d00dz wil leav u aloan
bcz dey will be destroid.

Nahum 1
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