Matthew 2

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Revision as of 05:52, 8 October 2007 by CeilingCat (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
  1. Nao, when Jesus was borned in Bettlyhem of Judea in teh dayz of Herod teh king, hai look, dere sum wies doodz comin frm teh east into Jerusalem,
  2. sayin "Hai guyz, where be King Of Jews? We see'ed star in teh east and we wants to worship him"
  3. When Herod hearded dese tings, he was trubbled, and all Jerusalem wit him.
  4. And wen he gaddered all teh holy doodz and skribez of teh ppl toogedder, he demandeded of them where Christ shud be borned.
  5. And dey sayed "In Bettlyhem of Judea: dat wat profet sayed. RTFM, lol"
  6. And j00 Bettlyhem, in teh land of Judea, am not least among teh princes of Judah: for out of j00 shall come a Govner, that shall rule mah ppl Izrael.
  7. Den Herod, wen he calleded on teh wies doodz, asked wen teh star appeareded
  8. And he sended dem to Bettlyhem, and sayed "Go find teh ickle kid, den tell me where he am, cuz I wanna worship him too"
  9. Wen dey herd teh king, dey went away; and hai look, teh star be leadin dem to teh ickle kid.
  10. And wen dey saw teh star dey was liek "FUCK YEAH STAR!".
  11. And dey went into teh house, dey see'ed teh ickle kid wit Mary, his mom, and fell over and worshipped him: and wen dey opened up dere loots dey gave him monies and frankenstein and mrrrrr
  12. And wen Ceiling Cat telled them in a dream not to gb2 Herod, dey went home teh by a moar diffrent way.
  13. And wen dey were gone teh angel of teh Ceiling Cat appeareded to Joe and sayed "Hai, get up nao, and taek ickle kid and his mom into Eejippt, and stay dere till I sez, cos Herod is lukin for teh ickle kid and he's gonna pwn him!"
  14. And he got up and taeked ickle kid and his mom into Eejippt at nite:
  15. and stayed dere till Herod was "lol *dead*", so ting wud be liek teh profet sayed wen he sayed "Out of Eejippt I done called mah son"
  16. Den Herod, wen he saw teh wies men was lollin at him, was rlly pissed, so he went out and pwned all teh ickle kiddes dat was in Bettlyhem, and teh beaches round dere, dat was under 2, cuz teh ickle kid he waanted to pwn was dat age.
  17. Dat was teh way teh profet Jeremiah sayed
  18. In Ramah dere was a voice herd, lamentatin and weepin and great mournin, Rachel weepin for her ickle kiddies, and wud not be comforted, cuz dey are not
  19. But wen Herod was "lol *dead*", and angel frm Ceiling Cat came to Joeseph in a dream
  20. sayin "Hai, j00 can go home nao, Herod am dead, lol"
  21. And he went home to Izrael wit teh ickle kid and his mom.
  22. But wen he herd dat Archela'us was king nao afer his dad Herod, he was fraid to go dere; and Ceiling Cat warned him in a dream, he went to Gallalee instead:
  23. and he moved into Nazareth, so teh profets wud be rite wen dey sed "Ppl gonna call him a Nazarene"
Personal tools