Matthew 1

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New Testament
Da genie-ologee of Happy Cat

1 O Hai! Dis book of genie-ologee of Happy Cat, son of Daybid King Cat, son of Apra-Ham:2 Apra-Ham maded Eye-Sack, Eye-Sack maded Jay-Kub, Jay-Kub maded J00-Duh and hiz bros.3 J00-Duh maded Press and Zer0 wit Tuh-Mar. Press maded Hezrum, and Hezrum maded Ramb.4 Ramb maded Aming-Dap, Aming-Dap maded Noshin' and Noshin' ated delishus Salmon (jk, he maded him 2).5 Delishus Salmon maded Bow Azz, Bow Azz maded Obet by umpsing Rüf, Obet maded Jes-See6 an Jes-See maded Daybid King Cat. David King Cat maded Wizdum Cat Sorrowman by Hankiez Pankiez wit sum chick that used to has Hankiez Pankiez wit tomcat Mew-Ryah. Lol, tomcat Mew-Ryah got pwned.7 Wizdum Cat Sorrowman maded Rayabome, Rayabome maded V'ger and V'ger maded Aysa.8 Aysa maded Ahosacat, and he maded Jor-El and Jor-El maded Fuzziah.9 Fuzziah maded Jo-Dam, Jo-Dam maded Ihaz and Ihaz maded Haz-a-Kyder.10 Haz-a-Kyder maded Man-Asser, Man-Asser maded Aming and Aming maded Joes-Eyer.11 Joes-Eyer maded Jeckiner and hiz bros, was bout when they was catchered to Babaron.12 And after they was in Babaron, Jeckiner maded Shellatiel, and Shellatiel maded Zero-Bapler.13 Zero-Bapler maded Apiut, Apiut maded Lyon King and Lyon King maded Asser lol.14 Aser maded Zardoz, Zardoz maded Aking and Aking maded Elly-Ut.15 Elly-Ut maded A-Lazer, A-Lazer maded Matting and Matting maded anuvver uv Jay-Kub.16 And Jay-Kub maded Joseph. Dat wuz alot uv kitlins. Joseph was teh tomcat of Mary, and she maded Happy Cat, who gets called Christ (Nointed Cat), liek all teh time. Srsly.17 So all teh genenerayshuns from Apra-Ham to Daybid King Cat am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Daybid King Cat to gettin catchered in Babaron am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin catchered up in Babaron to teh Nointed Cat am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.

How is Happy Cat Formed?

18 Now, teh burth of teh Nointed Cat was liek dis: After Mary and Joseph wuz all "We get maerdied, kthnx", but befor dey haz hankiez pankiez Mary was a muthur cat thanx 2 HovurCat.19 Joseph was liek "I haz virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur kitlin, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."21 But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him Happy Cat. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:23 "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wiv us"24 Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez affer dey gets a son and call him Happy Cat. Kthnx.

Matthew 1
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