Matthew 1

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Kitty cat, oh cat, we praiz u fer bein oh so jebus... oh jebus!

Da burth of Jebus

18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all preggarz from Teh Ceiling Cat.19 Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."21 But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him bahbeh Jebus, cso George bad name, srsly. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:23 "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"24 Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jebus Christ. Kthnx.

Matthew 1
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