Matthew 1

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(Da genie-ologee of Jebus Christ)
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{{New Testament}}  
{{New Testament}}  
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===== Da genie-ologee of Jebus Christ =====
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===== Da genie-ologee of Happy Cat =====
{{verse
{{verse
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|1= Dis book of genie-ologee of Jebus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:
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|1= O Hai! Dis book of genie-ologee of Happy Cat, son of Daybid King Cat, son of Apra-Ham:
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|2= Abraham maded Isaac, Isaac maded Jacob, Jacob maded Judah and hiz bros.
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|2= Apra-Ham maded Eye-Sack, Eye-Sack maded Jay-Kub, Jay-Kub maded J00-Duh and hiz bros.
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|3= Judah maded Perez and Zerah wit Tamar. Perez maded Hezron, and Hezron maded Ram.
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|3= J00-Duh maded Press and Zer0 wit Tuh-Mar. Press maded Hezrum, and Hezrum maded Ramb.
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|4= Ram maded Amminadab, Amminadab maded Nashon and Nashon maded Salmon. Not liek the fish, lol.  
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|4= Ramb maded Aming-Dap, Aming-Dap maded Noshin' and Noshin' ated delishus Salmon (jk, he maded him 2).  
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|5= Salmon maded Boaz, Boaz maded Obed by umpsing Ruth, Obed maded Jesse
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|5= Delishus Salmon maded Bow Azz, Bow Azz maded Obet by umpsing Rüf, Obet maded Jes-See
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|6= and Jesse maded King David teh king. King David teh king maded Solomon by Hankiez Pankiez wit sum chick that used to has Hankiez Pankiez wit Uriah. Lol, Uriah got pwned.  
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|6= an Jes-See maded Daybid King Cat. David King Cat maded Wizdum Cat Sorrowman by Hankiez Pankiez wit sum chick that used to has Hankiez Pankiez wit tomcat Mew-Ryah. Lol, tomcat Mew-Ryah got pwned.  
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|7= Solomon maded Rehoboam, Rehoboam maded Abijah and Abijah maded Asa.
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|7= Wizdum Cat Sorrowman maded Rayabome, Rayabome maded V'ger and V'ger maded Aysa.
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|8= Asa maded Jehoshaphat, and he maded Jehoram and Jehoram maded Uzziah.  
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|8= Aysa maded Ahosacat, and he maded Jor-El and Jor-El maded Fuzziah.  
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|9= Uzziah maded Jotham, Jotham maded Ahaz and Ahaz maded Hezekiah.
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|9= Fuzziah maded Jo-Dam, Jo-Dam maded Ihaz and Ihaz maded Haz-a-Kyder.
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|10= Hezekiah maded Manasseh, Manasseh maded Amon and Amon maded Josiah.
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|10= Haz-a-Kyder maded Man-Asser, Man-Asser maded Aming and Aming maded Joes-Eyer.
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|11= Josiah maded Jeconiah and hiz bros, was bout when they was carryeded to Babblylon.
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|11= Joes-Eyer maded Jeckiner and hiz bros, was bout when they was catchered to Babaron.
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|12= And after they was in Babblylon Jeconiah maded Shealtiel, and Shealtiel maded Zerubbabel
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|12= And after they was in Babaron, Jeckiner maded Shellatiel, and Shellatiel maded Zero-Bapler.
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|13= Zerubbabel maded Abiud, Abiud maded Eliakim and Eliakim maded Azor.
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|13= Zero-Bapler maded Apiut, Apiut maded Lyon King and Lyon King maded Asser lol.
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|14= Azor maded Zadok, Zadok maded Akim and Akim maded Eliud.
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|14= Aser maded Zardoz, Zardoz maded Aking and Aking maded Elly-Ut.
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|15= Eliud maded Eleazar, Eleazar maded Matthan and Matthan maded Jacob.
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|15= Elly-Ut maded A-Lazer, A-Lazer maded Matting and Matting maded anuvver uv Jay-Kub.
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|16= And Jacob maded Joseph. dat wuz alot uv baybi makinn. Joseph was teh mister of Mary, and she maded Jebus, who gets called Christ, liek all teh time. Srsly.
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|16= And Jay-Kub maded Joseph. Dat wuz alot uv kitlins. Joseph was teh tomcat of Mary, and she maded Happy Cat, who gets called Christ (Nointed Cat), liek all teh time. Srsly.
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|17= So all teh genenerayshuns from Abraham to David am 14 genenerayshuns, frm David to gettin lockeded up in Babblylon am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin lockeded up in Babblylon to teh Christ am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.  
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|17= So all teh genenerayshuns from Apra-Ham to Daybid King Cat am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Daybid King Cat to gettin catchered in Babaron am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin catchered up in Babaron to teh Nointed Cat am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.  
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===== Da burth of Jebus Christ =====
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===== How is Happy Cat Formed? =====
{{verse
{{verse
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|18= Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all preggarz from Teh Ceiling Cat.
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|18= Now, teh burth of teh Nointed Cat was liek dis: After Mary and Joseph wuz all "We get maerdied, kthnx", but befor dey haz hankiez pankiez Mary was a muthur cat thanx 2 HovurCat.
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|19= Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".
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|19= Joseph was liek "I haz virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".
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|20= But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."
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|20= But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur kitlin, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."
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|21= But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him Jebus, cso George bad name, srsly. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."
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|21= But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him Happy Cat. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."
|22= So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:
|22= So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:
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|23= "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"
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|23= "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wiv us"
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|24= Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh anjel frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.
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|24= Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.
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|25= And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jebus. Kthnx.
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|25= And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez affer dey gets a son and call him Happy Cat. Kthnx.
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[[Category:Matthew|Matthew 1]]
[[Category:Matthew|Matthew 1]]
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Mark]]|PrevBook=[[Malachi]]|NextChap=[[Matthew 2]]|PrevChap=[[Malachi 4]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Mark]]|PrevBook=[[Malachi]]|NextChap=[[Matthew 2]]|PrevChap=[[Malachi 4]]}}

Latest revision as of 14:21, 8 July 2010

New Testament
Bible5.gif
Da genie-ologee of Happy Cat

1 O Hai! Dis book of genie-ologee of Happy Cat, son of Daybid King Cat, son of Apra-Ham:2 Apra-Ham maded Eye-Sack, Eye-Sack maded Jay-Kub, Jay-Kub maded J00-Duh and hiz bros.3 J00-Duh maded Press and Zer0 wit Tuh-Mar. Press maded Hezrum, and Hezrum maded Ramb.4 Ramb maded Aming-Dap, Aming-Dap maded Noshin' and Noshin' ated delishus Salmon (jk, he maded him 2).5 Delishus Salmon maded Bow Azz, Bow Azz maded Obet by umpsing Rüf, Obet maded Jes-See6 an Jes-See maded Daybid King Cat. David King Cat maded Wizdum Cat Sorrowman by Hankiez Pankiez wit sum chick that used to has Hankiez Pankiez wit tomcat Mew-Ryah. Lol, tomcat Mew-Ryah got pwned.7 Wizdum Cat Sorrowman maded Rayabome, Rayabome maded V'ger and V'ger maded Aysa.8 Aysa maded Ahosacat, and he maded Jor-El and Jor-El maded Fuzziah.9 Fuzziah maded Jo-Dam, Jo-Dam maded Ihaz and Ihaz maded Haz-a-Kyder.10 Haz-a-Kyder maded Man-Asser, Man-Asser maded Aming and Aming maded Joes-Eyer.11 Joes-Eyer maded Jeckiner and hiz bros, was bout when they was catchered to Babaron.12 And after they was in Babaron, Jeckiner maded Shellatiel, and Shellatiel maded Zero-Bapler.13 Zero-Bapler maded Apiut, Apiut maded Lyon King and Lyon King maded Asser lol.14 Aser maded Zardoz, Zardoz maded Aking and Aking maded Elly-Ut.15 Elly-Ut maded A-Lazer, A-Lazer maded Matting and Matting maded anuvver uv Jay-Kub.16 And Jay-Kub maded Joseph. Dat wuz alot uv kitlins. Joseph was teh tomcat of Mary, and she maded Happy Cat, who gets called Christ (Nointed Cat), liek all teh time. Srsly.17 So all teh genenerayshuns from Apra-Ham to Daybid King Cat am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Daybid King Cat to gettin catchered in Babaron am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin catchered up in Babaron to teh Nointed Cat am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.

How is Happy Cat Formed?

18 Now, teh burth of teh Nointed Cat was liek dis: After Mary and Joseph wuz all "We get maerdied, kthnx", but befor dey haz hankiez pankiez Mary was a muthur cat thanx 2 HovurCat.19 Joseph was liek "I haz virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur kitlin, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."21 But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him Happy Cat. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:23 "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wiv us"24 Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez affer dey gets a son and call him Happy Cat. Kthnx.

Matthew 1
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