Mark 2

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New Testament


Happy Cat Makes Teh Hurtz D00d Al Bettr

1 An Happy Cat went to Capernum agn an they wur al leik, "Happy Cat is in da house!!11!!"2 An they wuz al packd in tihgt. An Happy Cat wuz talkin.3 An fuor d00dz brought some d00d with, like, no hit piontz and was twitching n stufz.4 An it wuz al packd an they bustd in thru the ruuf. Oh NOES!!11!!5 An Happy Cat saw tehm an wuz al lyke, "Hai d00d! You haz teh faith. No more Invisible Errorz!"6 But some scribez wuz there an they wuz all scribey.7 An they were all like, "WTF? U cant say that. Only Ceiling Cat can say 'No more Invisible Errorz.'"8 An Happy Cat knew they wuz bein all scribey and he sez, "Why for 4 B so scribey?"9 "I can sez 'No more Invisible Errorz' or I can sez 'Meow!' just as eazee."10 An He sez to the crippled d00d, "I haz da power on earth to say 'No more Invisible Errorz!'"11 "So get up n get outta here!"12 An the d00d got up an tuk of an he wuz al liee, "Yay! No moer crippl!" An evrybodee wuz al liek, "WTF! Hurray fur Ceiling Cat!"

Cheezburgerz wif Levi

13 So Happy Cat goes out to dat lake agin. An all these peep follow him, an he teached dem stuffs.14 He wuz walkin, an then there wuz Levi (lyke teh jeanz! LOLOL!), teh baybee ov Alphaeus sittin an bein' tax cullecters. An Happy Cat wuz all lyke, "Yoos shuld be followin me cuz I rawk an stuffs", an Levi did it.15 So Happy Cat is havin sum cheezburgers wid Levi, and all teh "sinnerz" wuz eatin wif dem.16 Den teh Fariseees were all lyke, "Uhm, tehy all dirty sinnerz. Why U B eatin wif dem? Gros!"17 An Happy Cat was all lyke, "D00d, teh sinnerz need teh Cheezburgers teh most, silly Fariseees!" An teh Fariseees wuz pwnd.

Happy Cat an no Cheezburger??!!!11one

18 John's peeps an teh Farisees wuz no eatin teh cheezburgers, but Happy Cat an hiz peeps were all "Cheezburger OM NOM NOM!". An evrybody wuz lyke, "Y no fasting? U B eatin teh cheezburgers!"19 Happy Cat sed "D00d, teh Ceiling Cat iz heer, so itz a partee!20 But wen de kuul katz leaev teh partee, itz nottuh partee, so no moar cheezburgurs.21 K so liek if y00 put frehs watr n a durty boel, thne ur frehs watr iz al skummy!22 Adn liek if y00 put noo littr n a durty littrboxs, thne it stil smelz. Y00 get hyumins to cleen it furst. Srsly."

Caturday Cing

23 Wun Caturday Jebus n him crewe wur n teh prowel, n so teh crewe wuz chooin teh gras.24 N teh Fariseees wur liek, "Oh, hai, N00BZ! Yu cant eated gras n teh Caturday!!1"25 Adn Jebus sed, "No, yu STFU n00b! Haz yu evr red abuot David? Him crewe wur hungree.26 So tehy bustd intu teh tempel n ated holee bred. Srsly.27 Bcz liek, Caturday iz fur catz.28 So teh Cing ov Catz is Cing uv Caturday. k?"

Mark 2
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