Mark 11

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New Testament
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Teh Tryumfal Entree

1 Wen dey wuz neer Jerusalem an caem to Bethphage an Bethany at teh Mownt of Olivz, Happy Cat sendz 2 of hiz desipulz,2 an he wuz liek "U goez 2 teh taon ovar dere, an wen u getz dere u iz gunna fynd a hors an nobuddy evur roed dat hors. U untyz it an bringz it heer, k?3 An if enywun iz liek 'Hay, wai u doin dat?' u sez 'Teh Lord needz it. Hez gunna bringz it bak wen hez dun.'"

4 An dey went and dey fownd teh hors an it wuz tyd up. An wen dey untyd it,5 sum peepulz wuz liek "Hay, wai r u untyin dat hors?"6 An dey sed wut Happy Cat toldz dem to sai, an teh peepul wuz liek "O, okai!"7 Wen dey brot teh hors 2 Happy Cat an put deir jackitz on it,Happy Cat satz on it.8 An lotz of peepul put jackitz on teh rod an othurz put branchiz on teh rod.9 An teh peepul wuz liek "Yay! Teh gai dat comz in the naem of Ceiling Cat has cheezburgrz!10 Teh kingdum of David iz gunna hav cheezburgrz! YAY!!!!!"

11 An Jebus goed into Jerusalem an went 2 teh tempul, but it wuz laet, so he goed 2 Bethany an goed 2 bed.

Happy Cat Maekz Teh Bad Gaiz Go Awai

12 Teh nekst dai, wen dey wuz leevin Bethany, Happy Cat wuz hungri.13 He seed teh fud bol an goed 2 see if it hadz fud. But dere wuz no fud, bcuz it wuz not fudz tiem.14 An Happy Cat wuz liek "OMG u iz bad fud bol! Nobuddy etz frum u evar agin!" Srsly.

15 An wen Happy Cat got 2 Jerusalem he goed 2 teh tempul an maed teh peepul sellin an byin stuff leev an he noked ovur all dere stuf,16 an he wudnt let enywun taek teh stuf dey bot.17 An he wuz liek "Duznt it sai dat mai hows wil be hows of prair? U maed it hows foar bad gaiz!"

18 An evrywun thot taht wuz awsum, but teh preestz an teh loyerz wuz liek "OMG! We haz 2 maek him leev!"

19 An wen it wuz all dark an stuf, dey all left teh sitty.

Teh Fud Bol Wuz All Durty

20 In teh mornin, wen dey wuz goinz were dey wuz goinz, dey seed teh fud bol Happy Cat curst an it wuz all durty.21 An Petur wuz liek "OMG! Teh bol u curst iz all durty!"

22 An Happy Cat wuz liek "U haz fath in Ceiling Cat, k?23 If sumwun tellz teh mowntin 2 jumpz in teh see an rly beleevz itz gunna happin, itz gunna happen.24 So if u beleevz u getz wut u prai foar, den u getz wut u prai foar.25 An wen u praiz, u haz to forgiv peepul taht wuz bad 2 u, so Ceiling Cat forgivz u."

Peepul Askz Trikky Kwestunz

27 Dey wuz in Jerusalem agen an wen Happy Cat wuz wawkin in teh tempul, teh preestz an teh loyerz an teh old gaiz caem 2 him.28 An dey wuz liek "Who sed u kan do dis stuf?"

29 An Happy Cat wuz liek "Furst u anserz kwestun foar me, k?30 Wuz teh likkin cleen of John frum peepul or frum teh Ceiling?"

31 Dey tawked abowt it, an wuz liek "If we sez 'Ceiling,' hez gunna be liek 'Den y didnt u beleev him?'32 But if we sez 'peepul,' den all teh peepul iz gunna be mad wif us."

33 An so dey wuz liek "We duznt no!"34 An Happy Cat wuz liek "Den iz not gunna anser ur kwestun." Srsly.

Mark 11
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