From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Teh Guilty Offerin
1 Regulations for teh holy guilt offerin'. 2 Teh guilt offering is to be PWNED in teh place where burned offering is PWNED, and teh blood is to be sprinkl3d on teh altar on all of teh sides. 3 All teh fat shall be offered: teh fat tail and teh inner fat. 4 both fat kidneys and teh liver, is to b removed 5 Teh priest shall PWN them on teh altar, as offerin' made to teh Ceiling Cat by teh fire. Its guilt offering. 6 Males in teh priest's posse eat it, but only in teh holy place, cuz its holy. 7 Teh same law is 4 teh sin offerin' and teh guilt offering: Their for teh priest who makes teh 'tonement 8 Teh priest who offers teh offerin' gots to keeps teh hide. 9 Teh priest who offers gots all grain offerings PWNED in oven or PWNED in pans or PWNED on a griddle, 10 and teh sons of Aaron gots all teh grain offerings and all teh grain offerings with oil.
Teh Fellowship Offerin
11 Regulations 4 teh fellowship offering 2 present 2 teh Ceiling Cat. 12 If he offers thanks then he offers bread cakes with no of teh yeast, but lots of teh oil, and wafers with no yeast and spread with teh oil. 13 And with teh fellowship offerin' he gots to have teh yeast cakes. 14 He brings 1 of each of teh kinds and teh priest who sprinkl3s teh blood gots them. 15 Eat teh meat of teh thanks on teh day its offered. Dont leave its till teh morning. 16 But, if teh offering is from vow or teh freewill mode, teh sacrifice is teh be eaten on teh day its offered, or teh next day. 17 PWN teh meat left till next day. 18 On teh third day, teh meat from teh fellowship offerin' gots PWNED. Do Not Want eat it! 19 Teh meat that touches teh poodoo is PWNED. Do Not Want eat it! 20 If teh PWNEE eats teh fellowship offerin' teh PWNEE gots PWNED. 21 If u touch teh poodoo - animal oar human - and u eat teh meat of teh fellowship offerin', u gots PWNED.
Do Not Want Fats And Blood
22 Teh Ceiling Cat says to Moses Cat: 23 Says to teh Israelites, "Do Not Want fat cattle, sheep, oar goats. 24 If fat animal is PWNED by other animal, Do Not Want eat it. 25 If u eat teh animal PWNED by fire, u gots PWNED. 26 Wherevers u lives, Do Not Want blood of teh bird or of teh animal. 27 If u eat blood, u gots PWNED."
What Teh Priests Gots
28 Teh Ceiling Cat sayz to Moses Cat: 29 Says to teh Israelites, "Bring teh fellowship offerin' and parts of teh sacrifice. 30 With u hands, bring teh fat and teh boobs, and wave ur boobs as teh wave offerin'. 31 Teh priest shall PWN teh fat on teh altar, buts Aaron and posse gots teh boobs. 32 U give teh right leg of teh fellowship offerin' to teh priest. 33 Teh son of Aaron who offers teh blood and teh fat of teh fellowship offerin' gots teh right leg. 34 Aaron and posse gots teh leg and teh boobs. 35 This is Aaron and posse's share as teh priests. 36 Give teh priests teh share for all teh LOLcat generations that be comin'. 37 These be teh regulations for all teh offerin's 38 which Moses Cat got on teh big mountain on teh day he commanded the Israelites in teh desert.
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