From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 If sumbobie gets INVISIBLE ERROR cuz he no speak whun everiebodie sez tehy must speak regarding sumtihng tehy sees oar knowez about, thay could be PWND.
2 If use toutched ickey unclean, ded animulez (anythings that walkies or slitherz), could be PWND.
3 If use touched peobles goo, eben clueless, be PWND.
4 Usin naughti wurds.... PWND.
7 iffin babi sheepzorz too expensiv, gets 2 sqeekie burds or dump ckickenz 2 Ceiling Cat, !(one) be 4 INVISIBEL ERROR, teh udder getz roasted.8 bringeh to kitteh, n givveh 1,4 INVISIBLE ERROR kitteh. Kitteh pullz hed oph (leaves a bit tho)9 N kitteh squirtz sum burd goo on teh siiid ov teh altar, teh rest on teh foots dis 4 INVISIBLE ERROR.10 tehn kitteh cookz teh otter burd as liek iz sed befor an yu ok srsly.
11 If hees bees 2 pour 4 teh above, bringz a quart ov flour, straight, know additivez, cus 4 INVISIBLE ERROR.12 Hees bringz it 2 kitteh, n kitteh taeks pawfull n burnz it on teh tops uv all Ceiling Cats stuff 4 INVISIBLE ERROR.13 Kitteh maekz it cooolz wif Ceiling Cat, so U not PWND, leftoverz belongz to kitteh.
Grainz for Ceiling cat
14 these be teh rulez 4 teh herbz offering, Aaron's bois shows it 2 ceiling cat, in de front uf the altar.15 Kitteh takes uf grainz (we likes catnipz) n oilz, n burney stinks gud, n set fire 2 it so Ceiling Cat san sez "It has gud Aroma".16 Aaron n hiz possie, eated teh rest, but no YEASTIEZ!!1!!, tehy must eated it at teh courtyard 'o the tent 'o meating.17 NO YEASTIES (I sed taht b4, K?), tehy getz to eated it cauze tehy my kitteh n tehy holey.18 Any boi wif Aaron's DNA eated its fo free, cauze I sed so, if U toutched thems UR Holey 2.
19 Celing Cat sez to Moses:20 "Yo sup? Dis be teh stuff I wants Aaron (n hiz sonz) 2Du whun tehy become kitteh: bout 2Quartz 'o flower (do want catnip), haph in teh mornin, 0.5 in teh nite.21 fry it ups like Colonel Sanders wif oilz n makes it has a gud aroma.22 teh kitteh wif 9 lives left makez teh smellz.23 No kitteh can eated it, burnz it all for Ceiling Cat.
Invisible Error offering
24 Ceiling Cat sez 2 Moses,25 "Yo, U sez to Aaron n his bois: 'Here be teh rulez for Invisible Error offering: U getz teh animules n makes it teh ded wheres U makes teh burney offering26 Teh kitteh taht makes it teh ded EATED IT, but it must eated it at teh courtyard 'o the tent 'o meating.27 anytihng touches teh ded animules gets cheezburger, If blud getz on clothez, gotta wash.28 if Kitteh eated it from clay bowl, breakit, if Bronze, yust wash n rinse.29 any boi kitteh (hairbol) wif same DNA a kitteh taht maek it ded can eated it30 burnz all teh blud for Ceiling Cat.
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