Leviticus 1

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Old Testament
Burnt cheezeburgerz

1 Teh Ceiling Cat saiz to Mozes, "O hai! Outta ur tabby-nackels, d00dthx.2 U should go saiz this to Izrulites, for to IM me, Hey Ceiling Cat, I can has stuff :) and liek that, they gotta bring me teh cheezeburgers or other good stuff for impruvin teh conneckshun winkwink."

3 Offurings is liek good an all, buts teh haz to be not flawZord cheezeburger, and you can bringz it to mah front d00rz," saiz teh Ceiling Cat.4 Youz to put yer pawz on teh cheezeburger, n sai, 'Sarry for the pwnage, but u no how it is an stuff, kthxbai.'5 N then you is to kill teh Bullock (O NOES! Not teh Sander Bullock! She B hot n all!) in front of us d00dz, n leev teh meesy cheezeburger joocez all ovur teh playce, gross. Iz U retardid?6 Tehn take its buns off and cutz it up, so for kittehs no choke.7 But then you are all leik, 'Cheezeburger wai too rair! DO NOT WANT!' So then you mayk a big fire for to grill it up taystee n stuff kthx.8 Then you, liek, grill it up taystee n stuff kthx.9 But then thair be pikkulz and onyuns n crap on it! O NOES! BLECH! Tayk that garbajge off and stik it up yr harbl, we iz not amused. Srsly. Then we can has it now? Kthxyum.

10 But if U wana bring teh donutz or teh ExBockzs, thatz kewl too, but don U be bringin me no trash, Ceiling Cat will run out of happy and kiil ur d00dz.11 Jest bring it liek norml and throw teh stuff around, liek YAY! ExBockses and donutz n bere! W00T!12 N then you all divvy up teh loot, ain't it grayt to be churchy and take ppls stuff? HA!!1!! Im in ur cherch, eetin yr foodZ n playin wif ur toyz! Moar plz.13 But then you notise some joker brought copy of Zero Wing, and that suckz, so plz to thro away for graet justise. Then U eat and play kthx.

14 An hey, Ceiling Cat lieks teh chikin too dont forgit!15 Jest make sure itz ded and crispy, raw chikin iz gross and makses us frow up.16 No fethurz neether! R U DUM?!17 Look, ur doin it rong, jest get teh 16 peece Xtra Crispy Bucket, with the taytoes and gravy and biskitz, and teh mac n' chz, kthx? What? O ya, Ceiling Cat iz happy, sure yumyum, srsly."

Leviticus 1
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