Lamentations 5

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Old Testament

1 Oh Hai, Ceiling Cat, remembah waht have befawenz us, lookz nd sees ah discraec.2 Ah landzes has been turnded ovah to strangahs, ah howzehs to foreignahs.3 We has becoem orphanz, missin ah daddies. Ah mommies is missin ah daddies too.4 Teh watah we drinks we must bai, foor ah woodzes we must peh lotz of teh cash.5 On ah neckses is teh yoek of thoes hoo drivezes us; us is worned outz, but no gets no sleepz.6 We be goin to teh Egypt, nd to Assyria, to getz teh Cheezburger.7 Ah daddies, hoo pisst off teh Ceiling Cat, dey is ded, but us be pehin foh tehm.8 We be ruled by teh slavez; nd no peopel be comin to saev us! Srsly!9 Dey wantz to killz us! But we bringz teh Cheezburger. Teh desert is smokin hawt!10 Ah skinz be shrinkin nd shrivlin up liek in teh furnaec!11 Teh wivez in zion iz ravisht bai teh bad peopelz; teh womenz in teh citie of Judah;12 teh princes, dey be gibbeted bai tehm, teh old peopelz gets no respectz.13 Teh littel peopelz, dey be carryin teh rox uv teh millz. Teh boiz be staggerin undah deir heavie loadz.14 Teh old menz leaev deir gatez, and teh littel menz leaev deir musak.15 Teh joie in ah heartzes iz not tehre no moah. We be cryin, we no dancez no moah.16 Teh garlandz dey fall down from ah headz: Srsly! We has made teh invisible error!17 Ovah dis ah heartz iz sick, at dis ah ais growz dim.18 Dat Mownt Zion iz desolaet, wif jackalz walkin dere!19 Yu, oh Ceiling Cat, iz on a throen forevah; yur throen standz from aeg to aeg.20 Wy shouldz yu forgets us, nd leaev us fo so long a tiem?21 Leadz us back to yu, Ceiling Cat, dat we mae be westored: gib us anew teh daez az we had uv old. Plz?22 Fo now yu rejectz us, nd yu, Ceiling Cat, no likez us!

Lamentations 5
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