Judges 5

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Old Testament
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Deborah an Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat

1 an so Deborah and Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat that went all leik:

2 O Hai, Ceiling Cat! we followedd u, srsly

3 hei kingz listn oursong to Ceiling Cat, k?

4 hai Ceiling Cat, wen u caem her,5 wuz rane an tuhndr an stufs6 an iz be soem bad doodz, not saef, k7 an we no can has lye round in gras, srsly - but den Deborah wuz leik noob mama kitteh for us

8 teh israelites was praysin wrong Catz, an dems was pwnz0rrrd and had no weppons omg9 yay to Ceiling Cat and teh soldjers!

10 hei u listn, k? rly.

11 Ceiling Cat an isreal can has WIN!!1!!

12 Deborah gtfo an sing, Barak get teh bad doodz, k14 doodz caem frum leik evrywehrs, srsly

15 kittehs caem wif Deborah an Issachar but Reuben no halp16 a we don no wai Reuben no halp (sammich no halp, k? srsly)17 an gliead doodz stayd and all kinds peeps jus stayd no halp, wai??

18 but ovrs leik Zebulun an Naphtali caem an pwnz0rrd, srsly19 canaanites try an pwn us but no can taek owr cookies! srsly!

20 evn starz fodt Sisera21 an himz doodz wus pwnzd22 an himz hoarses scrambld. srsly.

23 an birdKat sed "Meroz no can has cheezburger cuz no halped!"24 but Jael is leet, srsly25 cuz her gaevd Sisera milks wen he only askked for wattr26 an den PWNd hims27 teh ded.28 an Siseras mama wus all leik wehr is Sisera an hims doods, srsly29 an Jael an her BFFs sed30 o, dems get gurl kitties and stufs to taek lol!"

31 Ceiling Cat, mae all bad doodz leik Sisera all be teh ded! srsly!
an was harmonee in israel for leik forty yeers.

Judges 5
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