Judges 5

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Old Testament
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Old Testament
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An teh lols agen did evl in sight o teh Ceiling Cat, wen Ehud= ded.

2An Ceiling Cat cells tem to teh paw of Jabin king of Canaan, that rooled in Hazor; teh captain stays wit Sisera, who slept in Harosheth o teh Gentiles. 3an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed unto Ceiling Cat: cuz he had alota gocarts of mettles; and twenty yers he mightly o-pressed teh children of teh Israel. 4And Deborah, a knower, teh wife of Lapidoth, she judged teh Israel then. 5And she lived under teh palm tree tween Ramah and Bethel in mountan Ephraim: and teh kittehs of teh Israel come to herz for teh judgments of tehm. 6And she shouted at Barak son of Abinoam to come out of teh Kedeshnaphtali, and sed tooz him, Haznot Ceiling Cat commanded Go to mount Tabor ands take wit ten tousand kittehs of teh children of Naphtali and teh children of Zebulun? 7And I will bringz u on teh river Kishon Sisera, teh captin of Jabin's aarrme wit his gocarts and his lotsofstuffs; and I will put him in ur paw. 8 Barak den he sed to her, If go wit meh, ten will go: butt if not go wit me, ten will not go. 9 den she sez, will go wit, teh jurnee that u takes not be for ur honor; for ceiling cat will sell Sisera into the paw of a grlcat. And Deborah got up and goes wit Barak to Kedesh. 10 And Barak calls Zebulun and Naphtali to teh Kedesh; he goz wit ten thousand kittehs and Deborah goes wit him. 11 den Heber from teh Kenite of teh baybes of Hobab teh fatherinlaw of teh Moses, had cut hizself from teh Kenites, and den he pitches his tent on teh plain of Zaanaim which is near Kedesh. 12 den tehy shewed Sisera tat Barak son of Abinoam was gone up to ten mountin Tabor. 13 Sisera den he takes all his gocarts, even teh nine hundred gocarts of mettle and all the kittehs tat was wit him from Harosheth of teh Gentiles to river of Kishon. 14 Deborah sez to Barak, Ups! for tis teh day which Ceiling Cat did dliver u Sisera into ur paw: is not teh Ceiling Cat gone out infront u? So Barak goez down mountin Tabor, and teh ten thousand kittehs do followz him. 15 And Ceiling Cat pwns Sisera and allz teh gocarts and allz his armeez, wit teh ouch of teh sword infront Barak so dat Sisera gets off hiz gocart and runz away like scardypig. 16But Barak goz after teh gocarts and after teh armeez unto Harosheth of teh Gentiles and pwnz tehm wit teh ouch of teh sword til all ded. 17 Sisera rund awayz to tent of Jael teh wife of Heber teh Kenite cuz he friendz wit Jabin teh king of Hazor and teh house of Heber teh Kenite. 18And Jael sez hai to Sisera and sez him come in and den she covered him with a fuzzy blanket. 19And he sez too her i can haz drink? cuz he is thirsty. she giv him sum milks den covers him wit teh blanket agens. 20 he sez her to go stand at teh door and tells enyone who asks dat he his not der. 21 while he goz sleep she pwns him wit a nail threw teh face. So he died.

22 Barak wuz followin Sisera, Jael sez hai to him and sez i sho u teh dead bodee, u wants to see? and barak looked and sez ewwz cuz was gross.

23So Ceiling Cat kilz dat day Jabin the king of Canaan for teh kittehs of teh Israel.

24And teh paw of the kittehs of teh Israel gotz lotz of cheezburgers and pwnd Jabin teh king of Canaan til tey had killed ded Jabin king of Canaan.
Judges 5
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Judges 5
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Joshua Ruth Judges 4 Judges 6
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