Judges 5

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(Deborah an Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat)
 
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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
[[Category:Judges|Judges 5]]
[[Category:Judges|Judges 5]]
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===== Deborah an Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat =====
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[[Category:Judges|Judges 4]]An teh lols agen did evl in sight o teh Ceiling Cat, wen Ehud= ded.
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2An Ceiling Cat cells tem to teh paw of Jabin king of Canaan, that rooled in Hazor; teh captain stays wit Sisera, who slept in Harosheth o teh Gentiles.
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{{verse |1=an so Deborah and Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat that went all leik:}}
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3an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed unto Ceiling Cat: cuz he had alota gocarts of mettles; and twenty yers he mightly o-pressed teh children of teh Israel.
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{{verse |2=O Hai, Ceiling Cat! we followedd u, srsly}}
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4And Deborah, a knower, teh wife of Lapidoth, she judged teh Israel then.
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{{verse |3=hei kingz listn oursong to Ceiling Cat, k?}}
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5And she lived under teh palm tree tween Ramah and Bethel in mountan Ephraim: and teh kittehs of teh Israel come to herz for teh judgments of tehm.
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{{verse |4=hai Ceiling Cat, wen u caem her, |5=wuz rane an tuhndr an stufs |6=an iz be soem bad doodz, not saef, k |7=an we no can has lye round in gras, srsly - but den Deborah wuz leik noob mama kitteh for us}}
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6And she shouted at Barak son of Abinoam to come out of teh Kedeshnaphtali, and sed tooz him, Haznot Ceiling Cat commanded Go to mount Tabor ands take wit ten tousand kittehs of teh children of Naphtali and teh children of Zebulun?
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{{verse |8=teh israelites was praysin wrong Catz, an dems was pwnz0rrrd and had no weppons omg |9=yay to Ceiling Cat and teh soldjers!}}
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7And I will bringz u on teh river Kishon Sisera, teh captin of Jabin's aarrme wit his gocarts and his lotsofstuffs; and I will put him in ur paw.
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{{verse |10=hei u listn, k? rly.}}
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8 Barak den he sed to her, If go wit meh, ten will go: butt if not go wit me, ten will not go.
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{{verse |11=Ceiling Cat an isreal can has WIN!!1!!}}
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9 den she sez, will go wit, teh jurnee that u takes not be for ur honor; for ceiling cat will sell Sisera into the paw of a grlcat. And Deborah got up and goes wit Barak to Kedesh.
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{{verse |12=Deborah gtfo an sing, Barak get teh bad doodz, k |14=doodz caem frum leik evrywehrs, srsly}}
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10 And Barak calls Zebulun and Naphtali to teh Kedesh; he goz wit ten thousand kittehs and Deborah goes wit him.
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{{verse |15=kittehs caem wif Deborah an Issachar but Reuben no halp |16=a we don no wai Reuben no halp (sammich no halp, k? srsly) |17=an gliead doodz stayd and all kinds peeps jus stayd no halp, wai??}}
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11 den Heber from teh Kenite of teh baybes of Hobab teh fatherinlaw of teh Moses, had cut hizself from teh Kenites, and den he pitches his tent on teh plain of Zaanaim which is near Kedesh.
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{{verse |18=but ovrs leik Zebulun an Naphtali caem an pwnz0rrd, srsly |19=canaanites try an pwn us but no can taek owr cookies! srsly!}}
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12 den tehy shewed Sisera tat Barak son of Abinoam was gone up to ten mountin Tabor.
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{{verse |20=evn starz fodt Sisera |21=an himz doodz wus pwnzd |22=an himz hoarses scrambld. srsly.}}
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13 Sisera den he takes all his gocarts, even teh nine hundred gocarts of mettle and all the kittehs tat was wit him from Harosheth of teh Gentiles to river of Kishon.
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{{verse |23=an birdKat sed "Meroz no can has cheezburger cuz no halped!" |24=but Jael is leet, srsly |25=cuz her gaevd Sisera milks wen he only askked for wattr |26=an den PWNd hims |27=teh ded. |28=an Siseras mama wus all leik wehr is Sisera an hims doods, srsly |29=an Jael an her BFFs sed |30=o, dems get gurl kitties and stufs to taek lol!"}}
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14 Deborah sez to Barak, Ups! for tis teh day which Ceiling Cat did dliver u Sisera into ur paw: is not teh Ceiling Cat gone out infront u? So Barak goez down mountin Tabor, and teh ten thousand kittehs do followz him.
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15 And Ceiling Cat pwns Sisera and allz teh gocarts and allz his armeez, wit teh ouch of teh sword infront Barak so dat Sisera gets off hiz gocart and runz away like scardypig.
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16But Barak goz after teh gocarts and after teh armeez unto Harosheth of teh Gentiles and pwnz tehm wit teh ouch of teh sword til all ded.
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17 Sisera rund awayz to tent of Jael teh wife of Heber teh Kenite cuz he friendz wit Jabin teh king of Hazor and teh house of Heber teh Kenite.
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18And Jael sez hai to Sisera and sez him come in and den she covered him with a fuzzy blanket.
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19And he sez too her i can haz drink? cuz he is thirsty. she giv him sum milks den covers him wit teh blanket agens.
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20 he sez her to go stand at teh door and tells enyone who asks dat he his not der.
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21 while he goz sleep she pwns him wit a nail threw teh face. So he died.
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22 Barak wuz followin Sisera, Jael sez hai to him and sez i sho u teh dead bodee, u wants to see? and barak looked and sez ewwz cuz was gross.
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23So Ceiling Cat kilz dat day Jabin the king of Canaan for teh kittehs of teh Israel.
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24And teh paw of the kittehs of teh Israel gotz lotz of cheezburgers and pwnd Jabin teh king of Canaan til tey had killed ded Jabin king of Canaan.
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 5]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 3]]}}
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{{verse |31=Ceiling Cat, mae all bad doodz leik Sisera all be teh ded! srsly!<br />an was harmonee in israel for leik forty yeers.
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 6]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 4]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 6]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 4]]}}

Latest revision as of 19:01, 27 November 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Deborah an Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat

1 an so Deborah and Barak sing song to Ceiling Cat that went all leik:

2 O Hai, Ceiling Cat! we followedd u, srsly

3 hei kingz listn oursong to Ceiling Cat, k?

4 hai Ceiling Cat, wen u caem her,5 wuz rane an tuhndr an stufs6 an iz be soem bad doodz, not saef, k7 an we no can has lye round in gras, srsly - but den Deborah wuz leik noob mama kitteh for us

8 teh israelites was praysin wrong Catz, an dems was pwnz0rrrd and had no weppons omg9 yay to Ceiling Cat and teh soldjers!

10 hei u listn, k? rly.

11 Ceiling Cat an isreal can has WIN!!1!!

12 Deborah gtfo an sing, Barak get teh bad doodz, k14 doodz caem frum leik evrywehrs, srsly

15 kittehs caem wif Deborah an Issachar but Reuben no halp16 a we don no wai Reuben no halp (sammich no halp, k? srsly)17 an gliead doodz stayd and all kinds peeps jus stayd no halp, wai??

18 but ovrs leik Zebulun an Naphtali caem an pwnz0rrd, srsly19 canaanites try an pwn us but no can taek owr cookies! srsly!

20 evn starz fodt Sisera21 an himz doodz wus pwnzd22 an himz hoarses scrambld. srsly.

23 an birdKat sed "Meroz no can has cheezburger cuz no halped!"24 but Jael is leet, srsly25 cuz her gaevd Sisera milks wen he only askked for wattr26 an den PWNd hims27 teh ded.28 an Siseras mama wus all leik wehr is Sisera an hims doods, srsly29 an Jael an her BFFs sed30 o, dems get gurl kitties and stufs to taek lol!"

31 Ceiling Cat, mae all bad doodz leik Sisera all be teh ded! srsly!
an was harmonee in israel for leik forty yeers.

Judges 5
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