Judges 5

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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
[[Category:Judges|Judges 4]]1 An teh kittehs agen did evl and teh Ceiling Cat he seez dem, after Ehud wuz ded.
[[Category:Judges|Judges 4]]1 An teh kittehs agen did evl and teh Ceiling Cat he seez dem, after Ehud wuz ded.
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2An Ceiling Cat cells tem to teh paw of Jabin king of Canaan, that rooled in Hazor; teh captain stays wit Sisera, who slept in Harosheth o teh Gentiles.
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2An Ceiling Cat sells tem to teh Jabin king of Canaan
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3an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed unto Ceiling Cat: cuz he had alota gocarts of mettles; and twenty yers he mightly o-pressed teh children of teh Israel.
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3an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed unto Ceiling Cat: cuz jabin had alota gocarts of mettles; and twenty yers he mightly o-pressed teh children of teh Israel.
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4And Deborah, a knower, teh wife of Lapidoth, she judged teh Israel then.
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5deborah lived under teh palm tree tween Ramah and Bethel in mountan Ephraim: and teh kittehs of teh Israel come to herz for teh judgments of tehm.
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5And she lived under teh palm tree tween Ramah and Bethel in mountan Ephraim: and teh kittehs of teh Israel come to herz for teh judgments of tehm.
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6And she shouted at Barak son of Abinoam to come out of teh Kedeshnaphtali, and sed tooz him, Haz not Ceiling Cat commanded Go to mount Tabor ands take wit ten tousand kittehs of teh children of Naphtali and teh children of Zebulun?
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6And she shouted at Barak son of Abinoam to come out of teh Kedeshnaphtali, and sed tooz him, Haznot Ceiling Cat commanded Go to mount Tabor ands take wit ten tousand kittehs of teh children of Naphtali and teh children of Zebulun?
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7then u can fight teh captin of Jabin's aarrme wit his gocarts and his lotsofstuffs and u can pwn him
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7And I will bringz u on teh river Kishon Sisera, teh captin of Jabin's aarrme wit his gocarts and his lotsofstuffs; and I will put him in ur paw.
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8 Barak den he sed to her if u go wit meh den will go: but if not go wit me den will not go.
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8 Barak den he sed to her, If go wit meh, ten will go: butt if not go wit me, ten will not go.
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9 den she sez, will go wit Deborah got up and goes wit Barak to Kedesh.
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9 den she sez, will go wit, teh jurnee that u takes not be for ur honor; for ceiling cat will sell Sisera into the paw of a grlcat. And Deborah got up and goes wit Barak to Kedesh.
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10 And Barak calls Zebulun and Naphtali to teh Kedesh; he goz wit ten thousand kittehs and Deborah goes wit him.
10 And Barak calls Zebulun and Naphtali to teh Kedesh; he goz wit ten thousand kittehs and Deborah goes wit him.
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11 den Heber from teh Kenite of teh baybes of Hobab teh fatherinlaw of teh Moses, had cut hizself from teh Kenites, and den he pitches his tent on teh plain of Zaanaim which is near Kedesh.
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11 den Heber pitches his tent on teh plain of Zaanaim which is near Kedesh.
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12 den tehy shewed Sisera tat Barak son of Abinoam was gone up to ten mountin Tabor.
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12 den tehy shewed Sisera tat Barak son of Abinoam was gone up to teh mountin Tabor.
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13 Sisera den he takes all his gocarts, even teh nine hundred gocarts of mettle and all the kittehs tat was wit him from Harosheth of teh Gentiles to river of Kishon.
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13 Sisera den gets all his gocarts and all hiz kittehs dat was wit him to river of Kishon.
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14 Deborah sez to Barak, Ups! for tis teh day which Ceiling Cat did dliver u Sisera into ur paw: is not teh Ceiling Cat gone out infront u? So Barak goez down mountin Tabor, and teh ten thousand kittehs do followz him.
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14 Deborah sez to Barak, Ups! cuz dis day Ceiling Cat will help u pwn Sisera: is not Ceiling Cat gone out infront u? So Barak goez down mountin Tabor and teh ten thousand kittehs do followz him.
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15 And Ceiling Cat pwns Sisera and allz teh gocarts and allz his armeez, wit teh ouch of teh sword infront Barak so dat Sisera gets off hiz gocart and runz away like scardypig.
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15 And Ceiling Cat pwns Sisera and allz hiz gocarts and allz hiz armeez, wit teh ouch part of sword den Sisera gets off hiz gocart and runz away cuz is scared.
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16But Barak goz after teh gocarts and after teh armeez unto Harosheth of teh Gentiles and pwnz tehm wit teh ouch of teh sword til all ded.
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16But Barak goz after teh gocarts and after teh armeez and pwnz tehm wit teh ouch part of sword til all ded.
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17 Sisera rund awayz to tent of Jael teh wife of Heber teh Kenite cuz he friendz wit Jabin teh king of Hazor and teh house of Heber teh Kenite.
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17 Sisera rund awayz to tent of Jael teh wife of Heber teh Kenite cuz is friend.
18And Jael sez hai to Sisera and sez him come in and den she covered him with a fuzzy blanket.
18And Jael sez hai to Sisera and sez him come in and den she covered him with a fuzzy blanket.
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19And he sez too her i can haz drink? cuz he is thirsty. she giv him sum milks den covers him wit teh blanket agens.
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19And he sez too her i can haz drink? she giv him sum milks den covers him wit teh blanket agens.
20 he sez her to go stand at teh door and tells enyone who asks dat he his not der.
20 he sez her to go stand at teh door and tells enyone who asks dat he his not der.
21 while he goz sleep she pwns him wit a nail threw teh face. So he died.
21 while he goz sleep she pwns him wit a nail threw teh face. So he died.
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22 Barak wuz followin Sisera, Jael sez hai to him and sez i sho u teh dead bodee, u wants to see? and barak looked and sez ewwz cuz was gross.
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22 Barak wuz followin Sisera, Jael sez hai to him and sez i kill him, u wants to see? and Barak looked and sez ewwz cuz was gross.
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23So Ceiling Cat kilz dat day Jabin the king of Canaan for teh kittehs of teh Israel.
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23So Ceiling Cat kilz dat day Sisera for teh kittehs of Israel.
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24And teh paw of the kittehs of teh Israel gotz lotz of cheezburgers and pwnd Jabin teh king of Canaan til tey had killed ded Jabin king of Canaan.
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24And teh kittehs of teh Israel gotz lotz of cheezburgers.
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 5]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 3]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 5]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 3]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 6]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 4]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Ruth]]|PrevBook=[[Joshua]]|NextChap=[[Judges 6]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 4]]}}

Revision as of 19:27, 27 February 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Old Testament
Bible5.gif
1 An teh kittehs agen did evl and teh Ceiling Cat he seez dem, after Ehud wuz ded.

2An Ceiling Cat sells tem to teh Jabin king of Canaan 3an teh kittehs of teh Israel mewed unto Ceiling Cat: cuz jabin had alota gocarts of mettles; and twenty yers he mightly o-pressed teh children of teh Israel. 5deborah lived under teh palm tree tween Ramah and Bethel in mountan Ephraim: and teh kittehs of teh Israel come to herz for teh judgments of tehm. 6And she shouted at Barak son of Abinoam to come out of teh Kedeshnaphtali, and sed tooz him, Haz not Ceiling Cat commanded Go to mount Tabor ands take wit ten tousand kittehs of teh children of Naphtali and teh children of Zebulun? 7then u can fight teh captin of Jabin's aarrme wit his gocarts and his lotsofstuffs and u can pwn him 8 Barak den he sed to her if u go wit meh den will go: but if not go wit me den will not go. 9 den she sez, will go wit Deborah got up and goes wit Barak to Kedesh. 10 And Barak calls Zebulun and Naphtali to teh Kedesh; he goz wit ten thousand kittehs and Deborah goes wit him. 11 den Heber pitches his tent on teh plain of Zaanaim which is near Kedesh. 12 den tehy shewed Sisera tat Barak son of Abinoam was gone up to teh mountin Tabor. 13 Sisera den gets all his gocarts and all hiz kittehs dat was wit him to river of Kishon. 14 Deborah sez to Barak, Ups! cuz dis day Ceiling Cat will help u pwn Sisera: is not Ceiling Cat gone out infront u? So Barak goez down mountin Tabor and teh ten thousand kittehs do followz him. 15 And Ceiling Cat pwns Sisera and allz hiz gocarts and allz hiz armeez, wit teh ouch part of sword den Sisera gets off hiz gocart and runz away cuz is scared. 16But Barak goz after teh gocarts and after teh armeez and pwnz tehm wit teh ouch part of sword til all ded. 17 Sisera rund awayz to tent of Jael teh wife of Heber teh Kenite cuz is friend. 18And Jael sez hai to Sisera and sez him come in and den she covered him with a fuzzy blanket. 19And he sez too her i can haz drink? she giv him sum milks den covers him wit teh blanket agens. 20 he sez her to go stand at teh door and tells enyone who asks dat he his not der. 21 while he goz sleep she pwns him wit a nail threw teh face. So he died. 22 Barak wuz followin Sisera, Jael sez hai to him and sez i kill him, u wants to see? and Barak looked and sez ewwz cuz was gross. 23So Ceiling Cat kilz dat day Sisera for teh kittehs of Israel. 24And teh kittehs of teh Israel gotz lotz of cheezburgers.

Judges 5
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