Judges 19

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Old Testament

1 well, there was a Levite who lived in teh sunny spot on a mountain, but he lived alone with no cheezburger! he was sad, so he was liek, i can has cheezburger? and he got a slave to make him one! and also for surprise buttsecks.

2 but slave cannot has a PENIS GOES WHERE?!!, so she ran away when teh guy was nappin leavin him without a cheezburger. she ran to her daddeh's house, and staid dere for for munths, (wich is liek 16 Caturdays! srsly).

3 but wen teh guy woke up and saw the sun again he was liek "CAN HAS a cheezburger now k? slaev woeomen!?" but she wasnt there "Her are! where is it?” He went to find her on his invisible bike. An he brough his slaves To giev to her daddeh. An the daddeh wer like “kthx, this invisible bike is so pro!”.

4 He stayed at there house fur 3 dais and they did nom many cheezburgers. But waz like “whoah! kitteh do NOT WANT wahter, srsly! k? plox to be giving me a coke”.

5 early teh next day, when him were gonna leave, her daddeh gaev him sum cheezburger “ lets aet sum tasty burgers k? nomming them wil make you feel ossim!” he replied ”orly? thks!”.

6 so they sat down An they did nom teh cheezburger together.

7 but he wanted to leave, “k. i are goin now srsly! you can has my kbai now?!”. but teh daddeh was liek ”I pray, be happeh An stai wan moar night?"

8 teh next day, the saem thing happend again! Thay did nom some vurry tasty cheezburgers all dai until teh after-n00n.

9 then he get up to leave again. But teh daddeh stopped him agen! An him say “ plox stai wan moar night! Teh dai is almost teh not-dai. stai an bee happeh and has some moar cheezburgers!

10 but this time, he waz like “hmm1... nthx. Srsly! im gonna gtfo now. Kbai n00b and ty for teh burgers!”. Thay went towards jewrusalum.

11 on the way, his servant is liek "OMFG i found you a city. here... you can has it"

12 “kthx but nkthx" he replied "gotta keep goin, the good cheezburgers are this way"

13 “coem! We'll kgo to that city over here? i can smell the cheezburgers” him say.

14 wen the sunneh were completely invisible, they were at Gibeah "welcome to fabulous Gibeah. best cheezburgers evah!... Srlsy."

15 once thay get inside, they sat in teh gutter fxing your perception.

16 on the street there iz an old ppl! An he was liek, " o hai. sitting, your doing it wrong,”

17 the old man said, what is the itinerary on that invisible bike?!?"

18 “Immah going to thr house of Ceiling Cat. Srsly. but fyi, theres no accommodation”

19 “dw tho. ceiling cat will make me real warm?”

20 but teh olde mahn said “come to my house. BBQ much?”

21 so they went to the old mans house an did nom the best cheezburgers evah!

22 the ppls from the city were liek “SHENANIGAN!!!” an they said to the old man, “plox go get teh man who came into this house. We want to surprise BUTTSECKS him. K?”

23 the old man said back “OMFCC NOWAI!? Kbai!”

24 then he said “here! Take my daughter. Her buttsecks, you can have it. srsly”. An the ppls were like “woot! Her buttsecks! We can has it? Kthx”.

25 the surprise buttsecksed her, and made invisible errors all night.

26 she crawled to teh door and called for halp! but needed moar cheezburger cos cheezburgers srsly give you good energy!

27 when the guy went to leave he saw her on the ground and gave her a ceezburger.28 an he said “ohai. going to mountain now, brb!” but she had already gone to the ceiling!

29 then the man got his knife an was like “i has my knife! cuttin bitches up”. he cut her to 12 bytes, ninjad her power supply, upgraded her RAM an sent the pieces to all the coasts of Israel.


30 him an teh old man were liek “lets never speek of dis tah no 1 k? not eben ever!”

Judges 19
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