Judges 17

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Old Testament
Idolz, Idolz, an moor Idolz!!1!

1 Teh Micah d00d commed frum Ephraim, wehre iz all ditz hilly hylands n schtuff.

2 So dis teh Micah d00d sez liek (to hiz momzors) "$1100.00 bux wich yooz typ all over 'DO NOT WANT!!' in ALLCAPS? (ow mai eers still hertzorz) O lookie, i, liek, pwnd it alreddy." n teh momzors was liek all "Infinity pluss one invisibl cheezburgrs drect frum Ceiling Cat to yer inbox!!!!shift!!!"

3 So enyhoo, da Micah d00d txts all eleventy cnotes to momzors'z inbox, n teh momzors was liiek all "WTF? still DO NOT WANT, u keep u turnzorz teh $$$ intu kewl idolic intreface.".

4 Micah was "NO WAIYZ teh $$$ bakc atcha, DO NO WANT tu has, neether!!!" n den momzorz txtd $200.000 to teh idolmaker d00d'z inbox n teh idolmaker d00d liek molded it intu kewl idolic intreface justcuz Micah wanna dooz it not! (tooo laizee or somthin) n one shinzy new IdolCat™ goze bakc at teh Micah.

5 N Micah d00d wented suddly alls 100% idol-mode!!! (srsly!) n maded a hundredeleventy jillion effodz n idolz n churchzors n graven imgs n more idolz n stchuff, n he sez to hiz kid "u bee NumberoUno preest kid now, k? thxbai!"

A Brief Editorial: Whai Democrassy suxxors

6 (Democrassy suxxors cuz No king to txt evvyone watta do. Srsly.)

Some d00d shows up

7 A 20something joo-d00d levitid00d frum Beetleham majikly apeeerz frum liek nowehrez!!! OMG!

8 So enyhoo teh 20somethingd00d wuz all "No pad fur to sleeepzorz, waaahhhhhh!!" n axed Micah fur room with veiw n too baffs.

9 Micah wuz liek all "oh Hai!, Wehre iz frum, O 20somethingd00d?, kant just rent to enyone." n 20somethingd00d sez "see verse 7.".

10 Micah whuz all liek "K, weez bunkmaits now! (no buttsecks plz, k?) n yoo be NumberoUno preeest and i givz u lotza $$$$$ n free cheezburgrz n schtuff." n teh 20somethingd00d wuz "Yayyyyy!!! i kan has Free Cheezburgrz!!!"

11 Teh 20somethingd00d pwnd Micah'z kidzorz furst real job n moovd in wif teh Micah (but no buttsecks).

12 To repeat: Teh 20somethingd00d pwnd Micah'z kidzorz furst real job n moovd in wif teh Micah (still no buttsecks; dat coms later, k?).

13 Den Micah wuz liek all "W00t! Infinity plus one jillion invisibl cheezburgrs frum Ceiling Cat izza mien all mien!!!!Q!@! Levitid00dz roxxors!"

Judges 17
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