Judges 12

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Old Testament


Jefthah an efraim

1 teh bad kittehs from efraim calld out their forcez, go norths an say 2 jefthah, "y u go 2 fight teh ammonitez an no invite us go wif u? we go bern ur howzes now kthxbai."2 jefthah say, "me an mah peeps wuz totally pwnin teh ammonitez, but wen i call HALP, u was sittin on asses and no halp.3 when i saw dat u assholez no halp, i kamikazed 2 go pwn teh ammonitez, an ceiling cat lat me win. Nao y u want pwn me bak?"4 jefthah den tell gilead kittez 2 zerg efraim. gilead kittehs not mind, cuz efraim kittehs say, "yuo does dramaz wif efraim an menashe."5 All jordan base are belong to teh gilead kittehs, so dey go to 2 efraim; wen efraim kitty not pwned want cross an say, "i can crosez ovar?" gilead den ask, "yuo = efraim?" den he say, "NO, DUH"6 den has test, "ok den, say shibboleth. " but he sai "sibboleth" cuz hez stupid and cant sai rite, so dey aggrod him. 42000 efraim kitteh got aggrod cuz dey ALL stupid like dat.7 jefthah den waz izraels big cheez 6 yr. Den he waz deaded, and burried in gilead.


8 aftr him, ibzan ov bethlehem led israel.9 he had thirty sons an thirty daughters. He gaev his daughters away in marriage 2 dose outside his clan, an 4 his sons he brought in thirty young women as wivez frum outside his clan. Ibzan led israel 7 yeers.10 den ibzan did, an wuz burid in bethlehem.


11 aftr him, elon teh zebulunite led israel 10 yeers.12 den elon did, an wuz burid in aijalon in da land ov zebulun.


13 aftr him, abdon son ov hillel, frum pirathon, led israel.14 he had forty sons an thirty grandsons, hoo rode on seventy donkeys. He led israel 8 yeers.15 den abdon son ov hillel did, an wuz burid at pirathon in efraim, in da hill country ov teh amalekitez.

Teh Footnote
  • a - Judgez 12:7 tradishunally judgd ; also in versez 8-14
Judges 12
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