From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 jefthah teh gileadite wuz mighty warrior. His fathr wuz gilead; his mommy wuz prostitute.2 gileadz wife also bore him sons, an when they wuz grown up, they droov jefthah away. "u r not goin 2 git any inheritance in r pplz," they sed, "cuz u r teh son ov anothr woman."3 so jefthah fld frum his brothers an settld in da land ov tob, wer group ov adventurers gatherd around him an followd him.4 sum tiem latr, when teh ammonitez made war on israel,5 teh elders ov gilead went 2 git jefthah frum teh land ov tob.6 "come," they sed, "be r commandr, so we can fight teh ammonitez."7 jefthah sed 2 them, "didnt u hate me an driv me frum mah fathers houz? Y do u come 2 me nao, when ure in trouble?"8 teh elders ov gilead sed 2 him, "nevertheles, we r turnin 2 u nao; come wif us 2 fight teh ammonitez, an u will be r head ovar all hoo liv in gilead."9 jefthah anzwerd, "suppose u taek me bak 2 fight teh ammonitez an teh lord givez them 2 meâ€”will i rly be ur head?"10 teh elders ov gilead replid, "teh lord iz r witnes; we will certainly do as u say." 11 so jefthah went wif teh elders ov gilead, an teh peeps made him head an commandr ovar them. An he repeatd all his werdz before teh lord in mizpah.12 den jefthah sent mesengers 2 teh ammonite king wif teh queshun: "wut do u has against us dat u has attackd r country?"13 teh king ov teh ammonitez anzwerd jefthahs mesengers, "when israel came up out ov egypt, they took away mah land frum teh arnon 2 teh jabbok, all teh wai 2 teh jordan. Nao giv it bak peaceably."14 jefthah sent bak mesengers 2 teh ammonite king,15 sayin: "dis ar teh wut jefthah sez: israel did not taek teh land ov moab or teh land ov teh ammonitez.16 but when they came up out ov egypt, israel went thru teh desert 2 teh red sea [a] an on 2 kadesh.17 den israel sent mesengers 2 teh king ov edom, sayin, giv us permishun 2 go thru ur country, but teh king ov edom wud not listen. They sent also 2 teh king ov moab, an he refusd. So israel stayd at kadesh.18 "next they traveld thru teh desert, skirtd teh landz ov edom an moab, pasd along teh eastern side ov teh country ov moab, an campd on teh othr side ov teh arnon. They did not entr teh territory ov moab, 4 da arnon wuz itz bordr.19 "den israel sent mesengers 2 sihon king ov teh amoritez, hoo ruld in heshbon, an sed 2 him, let us pas thru ur country 2 r own place.20 sihon, howevr, did not trust israel [b] 2 pas thru his territory. He musterd all his doodz an encampd at jahaz an fought wif israel.21 "den teh lord, teh ceilin cat ov israel, gaev sihon an all his doodz into israels hanz, an they defeatd them. Israel took ovar all teh land ov teh amoritez hoo livd in dat country,22 capturin all ov it frum teh arnon 2 teh jabbok an frum teh desert 2 teh jordan.23 "nao since teh lord, teh ceilin cat ov israel, has driven teh amoritez out before his peeps israel, wut rite has u 2 taek it ovar?24 will u not taek wut ur ceilin cat chemosh givez u? Likewize, whatevr teh lord r ceilin cat has given us, we will posess.25 r u bettr than balak son ov zippor, king ov moab? Did he evr quarrel wif israel or fight wif them?26 4 3 hundrd yeers israel occupid heshbon, aror, teh surroundin settlements an all teh towns along teh arnon. Y didnt u retaek them durin dat tiem?27 i has not wrongd u, but u r doin me wrong by wagin war against me. Let teh lord, teh judge, [c] decide teh dispute dis dai tween teh israelitez an teh ammonitez."28 teh king ov ammon, howevr, paid no attenshun 2 teh mesage jefthah sent him.29 den teh spirit ov teh lord came upon jefthah. He crosd gilead an manaseh, pasd thru mizpah ov gilead, an frum thar he advancd against teh ammonitez.30 And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD : "If you give the Ammonites into my hands,31 whatevr comez out ov teh door ov mah houz 2 meet me when i return in triumf frum teh ammonitez will be teh lordz, an im gonna sacrifice it as burnt offerin."32 den jefthah went ovar 2 fight teh ammonitez, an teh lord gaev them into his hanz.33 he devastatd twenty towns frum aror 2 teh vicinity ov minnith, as far as abel keramim. Thus israel subdud ammon.
34 when jefthah returnd 2 his home in mizpah, hoo shud come out 2 meet him but his daughtr, dancin 2 teh sound ov tambourinez! She wuz an only child. Except 4 her he had neithr son nor daughtr.35 when he saw her, he tore his clothez an crid, "oh! Mah daughtr! U has made me miserable an wretchd, cuz i has made vow 2 teh lord dat i cant break."36 "mah fathr," she replid, "u has given ur werd 2 teh lord. Do 2 me jus as u promisd, nao dat teh lord has avengd u ov ur enemiez, teh ammonitez.37 but grant me dis wan request," she sed. "gimie 2 months 2 roam teh hills an weep wif mah frenz, cuz im gonna nevr marry."38 "u cud go," he sed. An he let her go 4 2 months. She an teh gurls went into teh hills an wept cuz she wud nevr marry.39 aftr teh 2 months, she returnd 2 her fathr an he did 2 her as he had vowd. An she wuz virgin. Frum dis comez teh israelite custom 40 dat each yer teh young women ov israel go out 4 4 dais 2 commemorate teh daughtr ov jefthah teh gileadite.
- a - Judges 11:16 Hebrew Yam Suph ; dat is, Sea of Reeds
- b - Judges 11:20 Oar howeva, wuld not make a agreement 4 Israel
- c - Judges 11:27 Oar "Ruler"
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