Joshua 4

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Old Testament
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Jordan Rivr pwned. I can has mimoriul?

1 Wen teh Israelites wuz on teh udda side, Ceiling Cat sayed to Joshua2 Pik twelv d00dz frum teh peepol, one frum eech3 An says to dem, "Go git one rok eech from whur teh preeztguys ish standin in teh rivr. Maik wif teh bringin dem bak here and put dem down wur uz sleepin. kthnx."

4 Joshua pikd teh d00dz one frum eech tribe. Himz did gud.5 Joshua, he sayed to dem "Go in the rivr wur teh preeztguyz is wit Ceiling Catz Holi Bocks. Git sum stonage on ur sholderz for urselfs. one for eeach tribe ov Israel.6 Wez gonna uze teh stonage for teh mimoriul bildin. So wen teh kiddies says, "wut do dey meen?"7 u telz dem, dat's wur Ceiling Catz Holi Bocks stoped teh watr frum flowin. Den we gotz acroz w00t! So coolz we rememberz longtime.

8 So teh guyz did wut Joshua sayed An got teh stonage An bilted teh mimoriul.

9 Den Joshua bilted ANOVAH mimoriul wit twelv moar roks wur teh preeztguyz wuz standin in teh rivr. Dey is stil therz today u betcha.

10 Meewilz, preeztguyz ish still waytin in teh rivr wit the Bocks. Joshua iz doin wut Ceiling Cat told to Moses told to Josuha. An awl teh guys maid it acroz.11 Den preeztguyz is tierd An FINALLE gitz to maek it acroz. Eveywun waches.

12 Fiterz from Reuben, Gad, An haf Manasseh guyz leedz Israelites acroz teh Jordan, lik Moses sayed.13 Deez d00dz wuz badazz, lik 40,000 ov'em. An Ceiling Cat wuz wif'em wen dem wint to teh new base Jericho.

14 Ceiling Cat sayed "Joshua, now u can has cheezburgerz. An PS u jus as gud as Moses."

15 An addishunully16 “Telz teh preeztguyz to git owt ov teh rivr”17 So Joshua did dis.18 Rite win teh preeztguyz got owt ov teh rivr, teh watr cums bak lik woa datz a lot ov watr. srsly.

19 Dey crozed teh tenf dai ov teh wonf month. Dey curled up at Gilgal rite by Jericho.20 Dats wur Joshua staked teh roks frum teh rivr.

21 Den Joshua teled to teh Israelites, listen u guyz, win ur kidz ask "wut ish deez roks?"22 U says "We is crozed the Jordan Rivr rite herez and DID NOT git wet.23 Ceiling Cat did it jus lik he did teh Red See. We awl sawz it. Forealz.24 Ceiling Cat wantz eveywun to kno dat he pwnes. So nobodee mezzes wit Ceiling Cat.”

Joshua 4
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