Joshua 3

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Old Testament
Crossin moar watrz! (Jordan Rivr dis tyme)

1 Joshua, him waeked up An bringd teh Israelites frum Shittim to Jordan. Dem slept therz cuz dem had to croz teh rivr.2 Dem wait tree daiz cuz demz DID NOT WANT get wet. den teh leedrz sayed3 u foloz teh preestguyz wit Ceiling Catz Holi Bocks4 cuz dem no teh wai An u dont. But u betr not git to cloz to teh box. Iz not for u. Stai haf mile awai kthx.

5 Den Joshua sayed to git all cleend up so Ceiling Cat cud giv us cheezburgers tmrrow!!1.

6 So den Joshua sayed luk preestguyz u gotta take Ceiling Catz Holi Box ovr teh rivr An teh Israelites will folo u An dem sayed OK datz fine.

7 Ceiling Cat sayed Good job Joshua Now u can has cheezburger! An teh Israelites no ur my bff jus like Moses. K now tel teh preeztguyz to bring mah Holi Bocks into teh watr jus a lil. one step den stop! no moar.

9 Joshua sayed cmon d00dz do wut Ceiling Cat sayed. Den we can has cheezburgerz!10 An him can pwn teh Canaanites An all teh bad guyz. SO bonus.11 Srsly. jus folo teh Bocks.12 K now pik twelv guyz frum eech groop.13 Teh rivr ish gonna go awai wen teh preeztguyz wit teh Bocks tuch it i promiz. OK well maybe jus on one side but datz wherz ull be so ur fine. Brite side U can look at teh fishies in teh big wall of watr!

14 So preeztguyz did wut dey wur suppozd to and so did evrybodie.15 But OH NOES the Jordan Rivr had a lot of watr! Dat time of yeer u no. But preeztguyz stepd in jus a lil neways An16 teh watr it stoppd comin sumwhere by dis place Adam by Zarethan sumwhere round therz. So it all stayd therz An teh rest flushd to the Ded See. Den it was drie and we caem to teh new base Jericho w00t!

17 Preeztguyz waitd for evrybodie to maek it acroz.

Joshua 3
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