Joshua 2

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Old Testament
Rahab an der Spiez

1 Joshua sentz 2 spiezecats frm Shittim an sed “Chex0r out teh lands speshly JericoCat lawlz!”. They went 2 teh landz n steyed in HookerKitty hoose.

2 Teh Kingzor herd of teh spiezecats an tolded teh guardz:3 "Bring meet teh spiezecats in teh bruffel coz dey like spiezing on ma CHEEZEBURGER!!”

4 HookerKitty hiedz teh speizecats an sed 2 gardz “404: Origin of Spiezecats not found…5 Teh spiezecats left @ dusk I not knowz wher dey go. Chazez dem gud!”6 (But relli HookerKitty had hid dem on teh rooft0p under fl4x leevez!)7 Teh guardz went 2 hunt teh spiezecats ootside but dey not find dem!

8 HookerKitty vizutd teh spiezecats b4 teh snooozetime.9 She sed “Ceiling Cat gived teh land 2 yooz, we no taht an we R reely scarez uv yor kittehz10 Yor Ceiling Cat can haz driez up teh REDC:// an also killz Kingzors tu.11 Wee herd al dis an we wnt OMGWTFBBQ! So scaird! HARTATACK+1!12 Sware by Ceiling Cat pl0x dat u will b gud coz I wel need teh salvashun frm keeping u ere.13 Doan forget mah syster n brudder kats 2 an teh restz uv mah famblies”

14 Teh speizekats sez "K! U doan tel an wheel protexx U n yr Famabalies"

15 So she bryng out looong peece uv string, nawt fur play wit, but 2 climb down wall uv citi.16 She tellz dem to run way an hyde. Tehn wayt 3 daze bein hidden an den tehy wil B saef.

17 Teh 3 spiez sez "Wee wil keep promiss,18 butt wen ar armi cums heer, U will lett uz no wer U liv an yor famablies wil B in yr hows. Srsly.19 All yr famabaly mus stay in an B guud house kittehs until we R dun conk-ring yr citi. If dey R on teh street, tehy mite B all bluudy hackd up ded bi uss.20 Maik sur yu STFU abowt us an hour mishin, or teh promis iz off."

21 She sez "K!". So teh 3 spiexz buggrd orf owt uv teh citie an hidd. An tehn she tyed a red stryng in teh windoe 2 mark er howse. She didn play wit teh strynge, neithr.

22 The Speiex were K. Tehy hid 4 thre dais an wernt fownd.23 Tehy wentt hoam, owt uv teh hils an croxx teh ribber, foun thair leder Joshua an spild ther guts verbly.24 Tehy sez "Ceiling Cat iz winrar! We can has noo landz. Teh kittehs ther nao R pissin ther pants wit feer."

Joshua 2
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Deuteronomy Judges Joshua 1 Joshua 3
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