John 4

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Revision as of 00:42, 5 October 2007 by Dannyboy (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search

1. Teh Dood iz knoes teh Pharsys herd Jesus haz a lots frenz

2. (But teh dscpls rly haz teh frenz),

3. and so he iz goes frum Judea to teh Galilee.

4. He iz goes thruh Samria.

5. He iz comes in teh cityz in Samria taht iz calls Sychar, and iz place Jacob iz gives to Jospeh;

6. Teh wellz of Joseph iz tehre. Jesus wants to haev teh sleeps and iz sits at teh wellz. Iz liek six-a-clok.

7. A Samrtn womun camez to get teh waterz. Jesus sez "I has a thirsty."

8. Teh dscpls iz gon in teh cityz to haz sum cheezburgrs.

9. Teh Samrtn womun iz liek "OMG I iz a Samrtn and u iz a Jew and u sez u has a thirsty? lol." (teh Jews and teh Samrtns iz not frenz no moar, remmiber?.)

10. Jesus is liek, "Ifs u knoes teh Invisible Man's presnts and ifs u knoes who I iz taht sez 'I has a thirsty,' then u wud has a thirsty and he wud gives u sum waterz of teh lifes."

11. Teh womun sez, "WTF?

12. "Teh well iz Jacobs and him gives water to teh baybeez and teh cawes taht moooes and u iz not goode liek him."

13. "Jesus sayed, "Ifs u drinks theez waterz, u has a thirsty forevr;

14. "but ifs u drinks teh waterz of teh lifes, u no has teh thirsty no moar; teh waterz of teh lifes iz makes u haz teh lifes forevr, k?"

15. Teh womun sayed "K naow I rly has a thirsty; I can haz teh waterz of teh lifes plz?"

16. Jesus sez, "Teh husbnd--bring him to me."

17. Teh woman sez, "I no haz teh husbnd." Jesus sez, "Srsly, u no haz teh husbnd;

18. "u just haz a lotz teh sex and u haz teh man, but iz no husbnd. Srsly."

19. Teh womun sez "OMG, u iz teh profets.

20. "Teh dadz lieks theez mowntins to sez to teh Invisible Man 'Oh, hai' but u ppl sez taht u can only sez 'Oh hai' in Jerusalem. WTF?"

21. Jesus sez "K lissen, tiem iz comes taht ppl duznt sez in theez mowntins or in Jerusalem 'Oh hai Invisible Man.'

22. "U sez 'Oh hai' but u duznt knoes; teh Jews knoes and teh Jews pwn.

23. "Teh tiem comes--jk, teh tiem iz naow lol--taht ppl can sez 'Oh hai' juss by teh self becuz teh Invisible Man lieks thoz ppl.

24. "Teh Invisible Man is invisible, and teh ppl taht sez 'Oh hai' shuld sez 'Oh hai' wif teh invisible stuffs."

25. Teh womun sez "OK so liek u knoes teh Dood taht iz comes, teh Christ, he will sez a lotz of stuffs."

26. Jesus sez "lol I iz teh Dood."

27. Teh dscpls comes and tehy iz liek "OMG" becuz Jesus iz talks to teh Samrtn womun and teh otehr Samrtn ppl wer liek "Srsly, whatevr."

28. So teh womun sez to teh waterz "Do not want!" and goes to teh cityz and sez,

29. "Oh hai, soem guy sez teh stuffs taht I does; it iz teh Dood?"

30. So teh ppls comes to sees Jesus.

31. Teh dscpls r liek "Srsly Jesus, u can haz cheezburgr."

32. But Jesus sez "I haz sum foods and I eated it, OK?"

33. And teh dscpls iz liek "WTF? How does he haz teh foods?"

34. Jesus sez, "Mah foods is to does teh stuffs taht Invisible Man sez.

35. "Duznt u sez, 'Hay, iz sum tiem, and ltr teh foods iz comes'? Srsly, u looks aroun, teh foods iz evrywhr.

36. "Ifs u gets teh foods, u haz teh foods forevr and evr and evryone iz teh frenz, k?

37. "Liek, 'one guy iz makes teh foods, and teh otehr gets teh foods.'

38. "I haz sez to u, 'Hay, go gets teh foods naow plz' and u duznt gets teh foods; teh otehr ppl just gets teh foods fore u."

John 4
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Gospel of Luke Acts of the Apostles John 3 John 5
Personal tools