John 1

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Jump to: navigation, search
New Testament


Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh

1 In teh beginz is teh meow, and teh meow sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh meow iz teh Ceiling Cat.2 Teh meow an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.

3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."

6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz mite bleev"8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.9 Teh tru lite ov lotz of lite wuz comes, k?

10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.11 He iz comes to his peepz, but his peepz sez "Do not want!"12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.

I can has messiah???

14 Teh cat macro comez dwn frm Ceiling (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.

15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jebus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."

John teh Baptist Sez "I Iz Not teh Chozen Won!! No Wai!!11!!!1!!1!!

19 Dese are teh meows sez by John when da religulous autoritahs in Jerusalem sent Levites and Pretchers to ax "OMG! Who r u?"20 John says "Me no lyer, not teh Chozen1, Ceiling Cats kitteh"

21 They asked him, "Who R u? R u Elikhat?"
  He said, "Omg no!"
  "R u teh Profitz?"
  He sez, "WTF? Omg, No!"

22 Tehn they wuz, "LOL, so hoo ar you?"

23 John got all liek profitz Isaiah LOL srsly, "O hai I am liek gai meowing from teh littr box, 'Strayten up for Ceiling Cat but DO NOT USE vacuum!!!!1!' "

24 Pharisees sez,25 "Oh hai wai you washt ppl if no Chozen1 or profit? NO LIKE WET FURZ!!1!"

26 John sez "Ai washt wit water (WTF???). But among yoos is kitteh u not no,27 Him folowz me, an ai no allowd to play wit hes shooz."

28 Wuz at Bethany cross water wher John wuz washiz.

Ceiling Catz Shepe Happy Cat

29 Next dai John seed Happy Cat . Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe. Him fix invisibul error!!!1!30 Tihs gai ai sed folowz me.31 Ai washt peepz wit water (WTF??!1! Srsly) so Israel ppl no him."

32 John sez "Invisible Cat caem an stuck to him.33 Invisibul Cat proovs34 I seed an I no him is Ceiling Catz Kitteh!!!1!"

Happy Cat Noo Posse

35 Next dai John seed Happy Cat.36 Sez "O hai Ceiling Catz shepe" (agin lol)37 Hiz ppl heerd him. Tehy stalk Happy Cat.38 Happy Cat seed tehm sed "Oh hai, sup?" They sed "Oh hay Teachr, ware ur place?"

39 Him sai ovr heer. So they chillt wit him an eated cheezburgrz.

40 Andrew was 1 those gais.41 Andrew telled his brother Simon "Oh hai we found teh Chozen Wan. He was behind teh sofa."42 They went to saw Happy Cat an he sed "Yu Simon. I cal yu Rocky LOL."

Happy Cat sez Oh Hai Philip an Nathanael

43 Happy Cat wan go Galilee. Sez to Philip Yu coem too.44 Philip was from Bethsaida tu.45 Philip tolded Nathanael "Oh hai we found the gai Moses an profitz were sayin, iz Happy Cat frm Nazareth."46 Nathanael sez "Nazareth! nutting good from there!" ROFL PWNED!!!1!!1

47 Happy Cat seed Nathanael sez "Oh hai you good kitteh. GOOD KITTEH!"48 Nathanael wuz "You no me? WTF??!?"49 Happy Cat sed "I seed you."

49 So Nathanael sayed "You teechr is good kitteh. Ceiling Catz kitteh. Bosscat."

50 Happy Cat sez "ROFL! you sawed nuthin yet.51 Just waet, I gotz teh MAD PWNZOR SKEELZ!!!1!!1"

John 1
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Luke Acts Luke 24 John 2
Personal tools