John 1

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New Testament

Teh Cat Macro Becamded Flesh

1 In teh beginz is teh cat macro, and teh cat macro sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh cat macro iz teh Ceiling Cat.2 Teh cat macro an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins.

3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."

6 And teh Ceiling Cat haz dis otehr man; his naem iz John.7 He tellz teh ppl dat teh lites is tehre, so dat teh doodz sez "OMG." or mai b taht shud b "OMCC."8 Him wuz not teh lite; he jsut sez teh lites is tehre.9 Teh tru lite--iz lotz of lite--iz comes, k?

10 He iz liek, "Oh hai, I mades u," but teh wurld duznt sees him.11 He iz comes to his stuffs, but his stuffs sez "Do not want!"12 And sum guyz did want, and sez "Teh Ceiling Cat pwns," and deez guyz iz liek his kidz—13 But not liek reel kidz, k? Iz liek teh Ceiling Cats kidz.

14 Teh cat macro is becomes Visible Man (omg) and he is lives wif us. We is sees teh glorie taht is frum teh one n only; him come from teh dad wif teh grace and teh truth.

15 John is liek "Oh hai" becuz uf him. He sez "OMG tihs guy iz teh one taht is comes after me him iz bettr becuz him comes frst, k?"16 Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.17 Moses is liek "Hay I has teh lawz"; Jesus is has teh grayce and teh trooth.18 Ceiling Cat is Invisible, but teh one n only (him is wif Ceiling Cat) is liek "Hay look."

John teh Baptist Sez "I Iz Not Jebus!! No Wai!!11!!!1!!1!!

19 Jerusalem Sent Levites and Pretchers to John and sez "OMG! Who r u?"20 John says "Me no lyer, not Jesus, Ceiling Cats kitteh"

21 They asked him, "Who R u? R u Elijah?"
  He said, "Omg no!"
  "R u teh Prophetz?"
  He sez, "WTF? Omg, No!"

John 1
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