Joel 2

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Old Testament
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Contents

Lokusts wif guns LOL

1 Sownd teh alarm, teh dai of teh lord iz comin!2 It will has be so bad an dark an scareh, me hidez jus finkun 'bout it, srsly3 Hyooj fiers will coem an destroi evrythin!4 Tehy will be lookun liek horsuss, an tehy will run liek teh horsmens.5 Wif noisez that r liek real loudz, teh soundz liek fire or a big badz lolcat armi! like runz!6 Jus lookin at tem, all the lolcats turnz white as baabaa sheepz!7 They iz liek uber 1337 dewd.8 Dey don't push and shoev liek beybe lolcats dew. they is majorwe focusedz.9 Dey climb the wallz liek leetle antz and stealz alle deh cheezburgers like the hamburgler does, ya knoes?10 Before dem, the whole URFS shakez liek jelloe in a blendrs. Teh sun an teh moons are liek sleepin on deh job when dees dewds shows up.11 Teh Ceiling Cat is liek God, you knoes? and who can runs when he wantz to eats you? noe bodie, I tellz u.

rend ur heartz

12 Ceiling cat sez, "Uz return to me wif ur heartz but no food and no happyz. Don't forget teh onions."

Teh Ceiling Cat's Ansur
Teh Day of teh Ceiling Cat
Joel 2
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Hosea Amos Joel 1 Joel 3
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