Job 9

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===== Job Complanes Sum Moar =====
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[[Image:BookofJob.jpg|thumb|800px|left|A big, greasy jobby.]]
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|1=Den Job says:<br>
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|2=I no all dat, but how kin a kitteh be inocint in Ceiling Cat's eyz?<br>
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|3=If u taekd Ceiling Cat to cort, wuld Judj Wapner let u win efen once in a gazillyon tymes?<br>
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|4=Cuz Ceiling Cat haz teh smartz and teh p0wr; who kin fite him an win?<br>
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|5=He pounc on teh mountin an kik it ovar, sayin "Bad mountin!"<br>
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|6=He maek an erf kwake an shaek u outta bed.<br>
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|7=He poin at teh sun an say "Dont u shyn tudai, sun!" an it no shyn.  Starz hyd to.<br>
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|8=Only he kin peek anywerz thru teh ceiling an walk on teh bafwahter;<br>
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|9=He maeded all teh glo-in-teh-dark starz an efen teh planits an moon stuck to ur wall;<br>
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|10=He do amazin tings, leik levitashun an telikineeses.<br>
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|11=But wen he peekin down from teh ceiling, I not see him.  If he bump into me at teh mall, I not notis.<br>
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|12=An if he killz ur d00ds in ur fort, who kin stop him?  Who wuld efen aks him "WTF?"<br>
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|13=An Ceiling Cat nevir stay his paw.  He efen stomp on teh lolruses.<br>
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|14=So wut kin I say to him?<br>
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|15=Efen if I rite, I feelz rong.  I kud onlee say "HALP!"<br>
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|16=An efen if I talkd to him, I dont tink he wuld lissen.<br>
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|17=Cuz he shootin me wif his laz0rz (pew, pew, pew!) an castin his majick missiles at me.<br>
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|18=He no let me breave, maekin me all emo.<br>
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|19=Sumo an karotee wuld not werk on him.  Jony Cokrin kud not argyu wif him.<br>
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|20=Efen my own mouf mite ly about me, st00pid mouf!<br>
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|21=I ar inocint, but it maek no differints -- I hatez my lyf.<br>
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|22=Iz all teh same to Ceiling Cat.  Dats why I says he pwne bof teh gud an nawty.<br>
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|23=If lawts of kittehs dye sudenly, Ceiling Cat will ROLF at testin dere innosents.<br>
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|24=Wen da landz iz pwn bai teh pawz ov da wikkid, den he iz blindfoldinz da judgiz.  If not him, den hu iz it?
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|25=Ma dayz iz fastuh tahn Soopamanz, tehy is flyz away wiv no lulz. <br>
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|26=Dey iz skim past liek paper boatz (but taht is dum idea coz waterz iz maekin paperz soggy), an iz liek eaglez wut pwnz stuff.<br>
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|27=If i iz sayin i wil be forgettin mah complaynt an smilin an cyoot,<br>
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|28=DO NOT WANT ma suffringz, coz uz r still holdin me gilty<br>
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|29=Coz i iz alreddy gilty, iz dum to be strugglin<br>
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|30=Even if i iz washin with teh soaps (DO NOT WANT soaps tho) and washin mah pawz wiv sum soda,<br>
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|31=u iz pushin me into teh slimez pitz and make mah clothez say DO NOT WANT to me<br>
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|32=He iz not a kitteh liek me tht i can haev answer tiem now, but we iz havin to go to courtz an complane.<br>
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|33=We iz needin sum kitteh to b in our argument, sortin out our fightz, to be touchin us both (but in niec wai)<br>
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|34=Sum kitteh to taek Ceiling Cat's rod away, coz DO NOT WANT, and then i iz not frighted.<br>
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|35=Den i wuld b speekin wiv no feer of him, but he iz mean, an i iz frighted.<br>
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[[Category:Job|Job 9]]
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Psalms]]|PrevBook=[[Esther]]|NextChap=[[Job 10]]|PrevChap=[[Job 8]]}}
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Revision as of 13:52, 17 July 2009

Old Testament
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File:BookofJob.jpg
A big, greasy jobby.
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