Job 8

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Old Testament
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Bildad Speach Numbr Furst

1 Bildad teh Shuhiet up an says:
2 STFU! U maekin a big stinki wind!
3 Do Ceiling Cat pervirt (LOL) jujmint an do Ceiling Cat bend fareniss?
4 Efen if ur kittenz wuz nawty an he pwned dem,
5 Stil, if u kin go to teh Ceiling Cat an aks him,
6 An u bin behavin, he givz ur stuf bak dat he taked. Rly.
7 U probelems befer wont seem to bad, cuz in tyme u wil haz manee cheezburgrz.

8 If u aks teh ol folks an pai attenshun to teh tomcatz
9 (We ar n00bs an dont no nufin, cuz we jus liek kittenz)
10 Dere smartz: dey wil show u it.
11 Kin teh cookie bake wifout fyer? Kin teh catnip grow wifout wahter?
12 U no wahter teh catnip enuf, it go all limp an stufs.
13 U fuhrgetz Ceiling Cat or u no beleevs in Ceiling Cat, u end up liek teh limp catnip.
14 Den ur confidens iz liek a humin hare; ur trust iz a soggie stwing u plaid wif to much.
15 U try livin wif ur parints, but dey will kik u out; hangin on to der pantz leg wif ur clawz wont halp.
16 U is liek purty flowurs blumin in teh gardin;
17 Teh humin bring u insyd an put u in a vase.
18 But if a kitteh choo off ur leafs an nock ofer teh vase, teh humin say "Dees rooind!"
19 Teh humin trow u in teh twash, go out an get new wunz.

20 Luk, Ceiling Cat dont pwne gud kittehs an he dont take teh nawty kitteh's paw.
21 He maek u ROFL an he maek u say "I REGRET NOTHING!"
22 Teh haterz he maek ware embarassin sweaterz, an he collaps teh poptent of nawty kittehs, maek it fal on dere heds, LOL.

Job 8
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