Job 38

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat startz tokking an wont shuddup

1 And teh Ceiling Cat sez in teh windz:

2 "OMG, WTF iz u sayinz? u iz a noob!

3 "U getz reddy becuz naow I asks u sum kweschuns.

4 "Wehre iz u wen I maded teh earths, ifs u iz so smart?

5 "Who sayed, 'Hay, iz gonna be tihs big.'

6 "Whut iz unner teh earths? Who maded teh grouns?

7 "when teh stars and stuffs were all liek 'Hay'?

8 "Who sayed 'Oh hai waterz, u stay here, k?'

9 "when the clowdz were liek, 'Hai, we iz looks liek teh cloths,'

10 "and I was liek, 'Clowdz, u stay here, k?'

11 "Srsly.

12 "Does u sez, 'Oh hai sun, u comes up now, k?'

13 "and teh sun iz liek, 'k, naow here iz teh earths.'

14 "Iz sum pritty kool stuffs, like sum moar cloths.

15 "Teh badd ppls iz liek, 'OMG, I cant sees, and mah arm broekded.'

16 "Does u walkz in teh seas, liek rly far unner teh waterz?

17 "Does u knoes wut deaths iz liek, and has u been in teh unnerworld?

18 "Does u knoes how big teh earths is, srsly? U tells me, stoopid.

19 "How does u get to teh lites, and wehre is teh darks,

20 "Does u hav sum kind uf maps or sumfing?

21 "Oh yah, u muss be reel old becuz u knoes so much, rite? JK!

22 "Does u knoes wehre teh snoes is, or wehre teh hails is,

23 "wehre I keeps it just in cases?

24 "Wehre iz teh lites comes frum? How bout teh windz?

25 "Does u helps teh rayn and teh thunder,

26 so taht teh rayn iz liek, 'Oh hai, herez sum waterz'

27 "and teh gras iz liek, 'Oh hay lol.'

28 "Teh raynz haz got sum dads, or wehres teh dews frum?

29 "Is teh ice and teh frozts teh baybeez frum hevens?

30 "Teh waterz iz liek ston and teh ocenz iz liek 'Hay ice lol.'

31 "Does u kin be liek 'Hay Pleiades, u stays here, k? Hay Orion, u goes tehre, k?'

32 "Does u kin be liek 'OMG, Mazzaroth. WTF, Bear and sum kidz.'

33 "Does u knoes teh stuffs uf teh hevens? Does u kin maek tehm pwn in teh earths?

34 "Does u sez, 'Hay clowdz, u rayns naow, k?'

35 "Does u maek teh lightnins comes, so taht tehy sez, 'Oh hai'?

36 "Who maeks teh ppl knoe teh stuffs?

37 "Who sez, 'Hay tehres thiz minny clowdz' or maeks teh rayns come sum moar

38 "when teh dusts iz liek 'OMG tehres liek tunz uf us lol'?

39 "Does u sez to teh liunz 'u can haz cheezburgr naow kthxbai'

40 "when tehy iz liek 'we can haz cheezburgr naow plz?'

41 "Who iz liek 'Hay burdies u can haz cheezburgr too' becuz tehy wantz teh cheezburgr?"

Job 38
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