Job 3

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Old Testament
Job flaps hiz gums

1 Den aftr diz Job open hiz mouf and curseded the day he cames out of hiz mommiez.

2 He sayz:3 "I hopes teh day I wus born jus go awayz, and teh nite it wuz say, 'I has a girl! Wait, I wuz wrong, I has a boy!'4 An I hopes Dr. Brown goez back to teh pasts and turns off teh lites,5 cuz Ceiling Cat dont care.6 An I hopes the littel kittehs get into the calanders and stealz all the Caturdayz.7 Look, I beez emo.8 I thinks we should wake up teh lolrus, an steelz his bukket.9 An I hates the sunz!

10 When I was bornz, dey say, '1 kitteh, to kitteh, tree kitteh, for kitteh."11 They shud said, "1 kitteh, to kitteh, tree kitteh, ded kitteh!"12 Ded kittehs dont drinks the milk.13 They liv in shoes bokses,14 with the lulz15 an cheezburgers.16 Sleeping cat sleepz in teh bokses.17 Ded cat jus sleepz in teh littel bokses.18 Teh kittehs that sayz 'Halp!' can has cheezburgerz.19 Teh littel kittehs an teh diabeetus kitteh is there.

20 Turnz off teh lites!21 I no can has cheezburgerz?22 Then I dont wants ur cheezburgerz!

23 Ceiling Cat stold mai internets24 an I sayd 'halp!'25 Now I iz emo,26 an no has cheezburgers."

Job 3
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