From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Why has Ceiling Cat hided his daiz? Us kittehs can never knows them!
2 Some other kittehs be stealin sum lands and sum flocks an stuffs, liek the whole urfs wuz jus their farms, lolz.
3 They even be hurten teh orphans an teh widows!!!
4 They push teh needy kittehs around and they hog teh roads, an teh poor kittehs has to all hide!
5 So teh poor kittehs wander liek a lost donkey in teh desert, jus tryin to find food for teh family.
6 They has to take wuts leftover form teh bad kittehs' food suppliez.
7 And they even has no clothes; they has teh coldness!!
8 They is cold an wet, an sum even try an hide under a rock for shelter, liek they wuz a starfish or sumthin.
9 But teh bad kittehs evun steal teh baby kittehs. Iz not fair.
10 They bad keepun teh poor kittehs to still be poor an homeless, wifout clothes!
11 Teh poor kittehs has teh hunger, and teh thirst, evun while tehy be makin teh wine an oil for teh rich kittehs! WTF?!?!!
12 Sometimez I think that evun teh Ceilin Cat cannot here their criez.
13 Those bad kittehs don't evun want to know teh right way, or know teh Ceilin Cat.
14 They kill teh poor kittehs in teh morning, an rob their stuffs in teh night.
15 An the kittehs that be cheaten on their spouse? Tehy think that iz okay, if tehy hide their faces in teh darkness. (They think teyh is ninjas, but teyh iz not.)
16 Acshully, they hate teh light. Liek, all day teyh hide form teh light!
17 They iz so familiar to teh darkness. It doesn't really matter to those kittehs.
18 They has insignifant lives.
19 Teh heat destroys teh snow waterz, and jus liek that, teh evil kittehs will be eated up. Liek teyh was never evun there; good job evil kittehs, good job. *stupid kittehs fail at lief!*
20 Teh wormz will eat them, an evun their Mommy kittehs won't evun rember them. (Iz a sad fate).
21 Yeah, they evun be hurten teh barren kittehs an teh widows kittehs. Tehy has teh FAIL.
22 But Ceiling Cat will pwn them!
23 Ceiling Cat bes given them teh security an teh safety, but then he can take it away!
24 An they will has nothing!
25 Do you think I iz lying to you? Do you?
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