From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Eliphaz comin back fr some moar
1 An Eliphaz was liek,
2 Can a kitteh evr help Ceiling Cat? LOL! Most kittehs would be lucky to evn help
3 It's almost liek you think you be helpen out Ceiling Cat thar, Job. Liek He's gonna
be all imprezed by you liek, by teh good kitteh you has been.
4 It's not liek He's gonna be hunt'n you fr bein good thar, Job. Ha!
5 You has teh invisible errorz! Lolz!
6 You been hurten your fellow kittehs, an taken their cheezeburgers, an stufs liek
7 An you wuz hoggin all yer waterz wehn teh firsty kittehs came. You didn't care!
8 All you wuz doin was chillen in your cribz wif teh monies. An evrone loved you cuz
you were teh man.
9 But you wuz sendin away teh widowed kittehs who needed halp! Lolz!
10 So this is what you get, Job.
11 Itz liek your drownin now, or lost in teh darkness, or somethin.
12 You know how Ceiling Cat is in teh skys an stuf?
13 Well, do you think yur hidden frm Him?
14 Liek as if He doesn't see thru teh clouds, or somethin.
15 So are you gonna do wut all teh evil kittehs been doin, then?
16 Teh ones who wuz all taken off teh Urfs early?
17 They thought they wuz bigger than teh Ceiling Cat!
18 An still, they had some nice cribs, ful of teh cheezeburgers an teh HDTV's wif all
dah channels an evrthing! But I am not liek them, no way!
19 Teh good kittehs are happy that those bad kittehs iz gone now.
20 Gone for good, almost liek a fire came an ate up their cribs an evrthing, or
21 But liek, now jus apoligize to teh Ceilin Cat Job! Stop bein a bad kitteh!
22 Listen an learn wut teh Ceilin Cat has to say! Rember hiz words!
23 An then you will has forgiveness, an everthin be okay.
24 An you won't evn need teh monies no moar,
25 cuz teh advice from teh Ceilin Cat will be liek gold for you.
26 An it will be liek catnip or somethin, to be wif teh Ceilin Cat an learning wut He
says an stufs.
27 Yah, now you will be prayun to teh Ceilin Cat.
28 An it will be liek when teh electric comes bak an itz not dark in your house no
moar! Or liek when teh street lites turn on!
29 An liek, all the other kittehs will repect you, liek they used to.
30 Yes, Ceilin Cat will evn halp someone guilty, liek you, Job! Ha!
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