From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Zofar Flaps His Gums
1 den zofar teh naamathite replid:2 "mah troubld thoughts prompt me 2 anzwr Cuz im greatly disturbd.3 i hear rebuke dat dishonors me, An mah understandin inspirez me 2 reply.4 "surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old, Evr since man [a] wuz placd on teh earth,5 dat teh mirth ov teh wickd iz breef, Teh joy ov teh godles lasts but moment.6 though his pride reachez 2 teh heavens An his head touchez teh cloudz,7 he will perish forevr, liek his own dung; Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?8 liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz, Banishd liek vishun ov teh nite.9 teh eye dat saw him will not c him again; His place will look on him no moar.10 his children must mak amendz 2 teh poor; His own hanz must giv bak his wealth.11 teh youthful vigor dat fills his bonez Will lie wif him in da dust.12 "though evil iz sweet in his mouth An he hidez it undr his tongue,13 though he cant bear 2 let it go An keeps it in his mouth,14 yet his fud will turn sour in his stumuk; It will become teh venom ov serpents within him.15 he will spit out teh richez he swallowd; Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.16 he will suck teh poison ov serpents; Teh fangs ov an addr will kill him.17 he will not enjoy teh streams, Teh rivers flowin wif honey an cream (mmm... cream).18 wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten; He will not enjoy teh profit frum his tradin.19 4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them destitute; He has seizd haus he did not build.20 "surely he will has no respite frum his cravin; He cant save him by his treasure.21 nothin iz left 4 him 2 devour; His prosperity will not endure.22 in da midst ov his plenty, distres will overtaek him; Teh full force ov misery will come upon him.23 when he has filld his belly, Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him An rane down his blows upon him.24 though he fleez frum an iron wepon, Bronze-tippd arrow piercez him.25 he pulls it out ov his bak, Teh gleamin point out ov his livr. Terrors will come ovar him;26 total darknes liez in wait 4 his treasurez. Fire unfannd will consume him An devour wut iz left in his tent.27 teh heavens will expose his guilt; Teh earth will rize up against him.28 flood will carry off his houz, Rushin waters [b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.29 such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh wickd, Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."
- a - Job 20:4 or adam
- b - Job 20:28 or teh posesshuns in his houz will be carrid off, / washd away
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