Job 20

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(Yoda Speekz!)
(Revert: Yoda? I think not.)
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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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==Yoda Flaps His Gums==
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==Zofar Flaps His Gums==
{{verse
{{verse
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|1=den Yoda teh gozarian replid:
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|1=den zofar teh naamathite replid:
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|2="mah troubld thoughts senz deesturpants
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|2="mah troubld thoughts prompt me 2 anzwr
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in teh farce.
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Cuz im greatly disturbd.
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|3=i hear meelionz uf voizez,  
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|3=i hear rebuke dat dishonors me,  
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dat be suttenlee silense lyke brok squeeky mauz.
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An mah understandin inspirez me 2 reply.
|4="surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old,  
|4="surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old,  
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Evr since jetti [a] wuz placd on teh earth,
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Evr since man [a] wuz placd on teh earth,
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|5=dat teh darck site leet too bbq,  
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|5=dat teh mirth ov teh wickd iz breef,  
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Teh joy ov Al Glore lasts but moment.
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Teh joy ov teh godles lasts but moment.
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|6=though hiz pride reachez 2 Las Vegaz
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|6=though his pride reachez 2 teh heavens
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An his head getz all snimpy,
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An his head touchez teh cloudz,
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|7=he will perish forevr, liek his inviblisle jent;  
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|7=he will perish forevr, liek his own dung;  
Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?
Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?
|8=liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz,  
|8=liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz,  
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Banishd liek vishun ov teh Glore Prentseedenshul Lipary.
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Banishd liek vishun ov teh nite.
|9=teh eye dat saw him will not c him again;  
|9=teh eye dat saw him will not c him again;  
His place will look on him no moar.
His place will look on him no moar.
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|10=his children must eat teh ded nom nom nom den burp;  
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|10=his children must mak amendz 2 teh poor;  
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His own hanz must kill shantner for bill gaytz.
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His own hanz must giv bak his wealth.
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|11=teh ret bull dat fills his bonez  
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|11=teh youthful vigor dat fills his bonez  
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Will lie wif him in da rokkit houz.
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Will lie wif him in da dust.
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|12="though evil iz sweet like mentos in his mouth  
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|12="though evil iz sweet in his mouth  
An he hidez it undr his tongue,
An he hidez it undr his tongue,
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An keeps it in his mouth,
An keeps it in his mouth,
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|14=yet his bukkit will turn yukky in his stumuk;  
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|14=yet his fud will turn sour in his stumuk;  
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It will become teh jalnapeño sammoneller within him.
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It will become teh venom ov serpents within him.
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|15=he will spit out teh pom he swallowd;  
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|15=he will spit out teh richez he swallowd;  
Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.
Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.
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|16=he will suck teh poison ov mightee jappa;  
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|16=he will suck teh poison ov serpents;  
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Teh fangs ov clay iakin will keel him.
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Teh fangs ov an addr will kill him.
|17=he will not enjoy teh streams,  
|17=he will not enjoy teh streams,  
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Teh rivers flowin wif doritos an ranch drennseen(mmm... ranch drennseen).
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Teh rivers flowin wif honey an cream (mmm... cream).
|18=wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten;  
|18=wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten;  
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He will not enjoy lawz uf aquizishun.
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He will not enjoy teh profit frum his tradin.
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|19=4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them pronstitoots;  
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|19=4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them destitute;  
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He has seizd trump twoer he did not bilt.
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He has seizd haus he did not build.
|20="surely he will has no respite frum his cravin;  
|20="surely he will has no respite frum his cravin;  
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His prosperity will not endure.
His prosperity will not endure.
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|22=in da midst ov his plenty, teh borg will overtaek him;  
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|22=in da midst ov his plenty, distres will overtaek him;  
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tehn hee be ammsillminatet.
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Teh full force ov misery will come upon him.
|23=when he has filld his belly,  
|23=when he has filld his belly,  
Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him  
Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him  
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An rane down Monica Lewinskeez (eww) upon him.
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An rane down his blows upon him.
|24=though he fleez frum an iron wepon,  
|24=though he fleez frum an iron wepon,  
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Bronze-tippd ceegar piercez him.
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Bronze-tippd arrow piercez him.
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|25=he pulls it out ov his atss,  
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|25=he pulls it out ov his bak,  
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Teh gleamin point out ov his weener.  
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Teh gleamin point out ov his livr.  
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Scaree Pr0n will come ovar him;
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Terrors will come ovar him;
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|26=bl00 skreen uf deff liez in wait 4 his treasurez.  
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|26=total darknes liez in wait 4 his treasurez.  
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pop-ups unfannd will consume him  
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Fire unfannd will consume him  
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An devour wut iz left in his puter.
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An devour wut iz left in his tent.
|27=teh heavens will expose his guilt;  
|27=teh heavens will expose his guilt;  
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Al Groe will rize up against him.
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Teh earth will rize up against him.
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|28=flood will carry off his hoorz,  
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|28=flood will carry off his houz,  
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Hittlery wit Ant Flow[b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.
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Rushin waters [b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.
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|29=such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh clintonz,  
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|29=such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh wickd,  
Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."
Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."
}}
}}

Revision as of 11:38, 11 August 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

Zofar Flaps His Gums

1 den zofar teh naamathite replid:2 "mah troubld thoughts prompt me 2 anzwr Cuz im greatly disturbd.3 i hear rebuke dat dishonors me, An mah understandin inspirez me 2 reply.4 "surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old, Evr since man [a] wuz placd on teh earth,5 dat teh mirth ov teh wickd iz breef, Teh joy ov teh godles lasts but moment.6 though his pride reachez 2 teh heavens An his head touchez teh cloudz,7 he will perish forevr, liek his own dung; Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?8 liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz, Banishd liek vishun ov teh nite.9 teh eye dat saw him will not c him again; His place will look on him no moar.10 his children must mak amendz 2 teh poor; His own hanz must giv bak his wealth.11 teh youthful vigor dat fills his bonez Will lie wif him in da dust.12 "though evil iz sweet in his mouth An he hidez it undr his tongue,13 though he cant bear 2 let it go An keeps it in his mouth,14 yet his fud will turn sour in his stumuk; It will become teh venom ov serpents within him.15 he will spit out teh richez he swallowd; Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.16 he will suck teh poison ov serpents; Teh fangs ov an addr will kill him.17 he will not enjoy teh streams, Teh rivers flowin wif honey an cream (mmm... cream).18 wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten; He will not enjoy teh profit frum his tradin.19 4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them destitute; He has seizd haus he did not build.20 "surely he will has no respite frum his cravin; He cant save him by his treasure.21 nothin iz left 4 him 2 devour; His prosperity will not endure.22 in da midst ov his plenty, distres will overtaek him; Teh full force ov misery will come upon him.23 when he has filld his belly, Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him An rane down his blows upon him.24 though he fleez frum an iron wepon, Bronze-tippd arrow piercez him.25 he pulls it out ov his bak, Teh gleamin point out ov his livr. Terrors will come ovar him;26 total darknes liez in wait 4 his treasurez. Fire unfannd will consume him An devour wut iz left in his tent.27 teh heavens will expose his guilt; Teh earth will rize up against him.28 flood will carry off his houz, Rushin waters [b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.29 such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh wickd, Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."

Teh Footnotez

  • a - Job 20:4 or adam
  • b - Job 20:28 or teh posesshuns in his houz will be carrid off, / washd away
Job 20
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