Job 20

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(Yoda Speekz!)
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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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==Zofar Flaps His Gums==
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==Yoda Flaps His Gums==
{{verse
{{verse
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|1=den zofar teh naamathite replid:
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|1=den Yoda teh gozarian replid:
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|2="mah troubld thoughts prompt me 2 anzwr
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|2="mah troubld thoughts senz deesturpants
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Cuz im greatly disturbd.
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in teh farce.
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|3=i hear rebuke dat dishonors me,  
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|3=i hear meelionz uf voizez,  
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An mah understandin inspirez me 2 reply.
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dat be suttenlee silense lyke brok squeeky mauz.
|4="surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old,  
|4="surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old,  
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Evr since man [a] wuz placd on teh earth,
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Evr since jetti [a] wuz placd on teh earth,
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|5=dat teh mirth ov teh wickd iz breef,  
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|5=dat teh darck site leet too bbq,  
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Teh joy ov teh godles lasts but moment.
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Teh joy ov Al Glore lasts but moment.
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|6=though his pride reachez 2 teh heavens
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|6=though hiz pride reachez 2 Las Vegaz
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An his head touchez teh cloudz,
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An his head getz all snimpy,
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|7=he will perish forevr, liek his own dung;  
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|7=he will perish forevr, liek his inviblisle jent;  
Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?
Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?
|8=liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz,  
|8=liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz,  
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Banishd liek vishun ov teh nite.
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Banishd liek vishun ov teh Glore Prentseedenshul Lipary.
|9=teh eye dat saw him will not c him again;  
|9=teh eye dat saw him will not c him again;  
His place will look on him no moar.
His place will look on him no moar.
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|10=his children must mak amendz 2 teh poor;  
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|10=his children must eat teh ded nom nom nom den burp;  
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His own hanz must giv bak his wealth.
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His own hanz must kill shantner for bill gaytz.
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|11=teh youthful vigor dat fills his bonez  
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|11=teh ret bull dat fills his bonez  
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Will lie wif him in da dust.
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Will lie wif him in da rokkit houz.
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|12="though evil iz sweet in his mouth  
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|12="though evil iz sweet like mentos in his mouth  
An he hidez it undr his tongue,
An he hidez it undr his tongue,
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An keeps it in his mouth,
An keeps it in his mouth,
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|14=yet his fud will turn sour in his stumuk;  
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|14=yet his bukkit will turn yukky in his stumuk;  
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It will become teh venom ov serpents within him.
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It will become teh jalnapeño sammoneller within him.
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|15=he will spit out teh richez he swallowd;  
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|15=he will spit out teh pom he swallowd;  
Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.
Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.
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|16=he will suck teh poison ov serpents;  
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|16=he will suck teh poison ov mightee jappa;  
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Teh fangs ov an addr will kill him.
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Teh fangs ov clay iakin will keel him.
|17=he will not enjoy teh streams,  
|17=he will not enjoy teh streams,  
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Teh rivers flowin wif honey an cream (mmm... cream).
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Teh rivers flowin wif doritos an ranch drennseen(mmm... ranch drennseen).
|18=wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten;  
|18=wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten;  
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He will not enjoy teh profit frum his tradin.
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He will not enjoy lawz uf aquizishun.
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|19=4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them destitute;  
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|19=4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them pronstitoots;  
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He has seizd haus he did not build.
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He has seizd trump twoer he did not bilt.
|20="surely he will has no respite frum his cravin;  
|20="surely he will has no respite frum his cravin;  
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His prosperity will not endure.
His prosperity will not endure.
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|22=in da midst ov his plenty, distres will overtaek him;  
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|22=in da midst ov his plenty, teh borg will overtaek him;  
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Teh full force ov misery will come upon him.
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tehn hee be ammsillminatet.
|23=when he has filld his belly,  
|23=when he has filld his belly,  
Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him  
Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him  
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An rane down his blows upon him.
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An rane down Monica Lewinskeez (eww) upon him.
|24=though he fleez frum an iron wepon,  
|24=though he fleez frum an iron wepon,  
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Bronze-tippd arrow piercez him.
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Bronze-tippd ceegar piercez him.
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|25=he pulls it out ov his bak,  
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|25=he pulls it out ov his atss,  
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Teh gleamin point out ov his livr.  
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Teh gleamin point out ov his weener.  
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Terrors will come ovar him;
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Scaree Pr0n will come ovar him;
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|26=total darknes liez in wait 4 his treasurez.  
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|26=bl00 skreen uf deff liez in wait 4 his treasurez.  
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Fire unfannd will consume him  
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pop-ups unfannd will consume him  
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An devour wut iz left in his tent.
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An devour wut iz left in his puter.
|27=teh heavens will expose his guilt;  
|27=teh heavens will expose his guilt;  
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Teh earth will rize up against him.
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Al Groe will rize up against him.
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|28=flood will carry off his houz,  
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|28=flood will carry off his hoorz,  
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Rushin waters [b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.
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Hittlery wit Ant Flow[b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.
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|29=such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh wickd,  
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|29=such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh clintonz,  
Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."
Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."
}}
}}

Revision as of 21:05, 10 August 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

Yoda Flaps His Gums

1 den Yoda teh gozarian replid:2 "mah troubld thoughts senz deesturpants in teh farce.3 i hear meelionz uf voizez, dat be suttenlee silense lyke brok squeeky mauz.4 "surely u knoe how it has been frum ov old, Evr since jetti [a] wuz placd on teh earth,5 dat teh darck site leet too bbq, Teh joy ov Al Glore lasts but moment.6 though hiz pride reachez 2 Las Vegaz An his head getz all snimpy,7 he will perish forevr, liek his inviblisle jent; Dose hoo has seen him will say, wer iz he?8 liek dream he fliez away, no moar 2 be findz, Banishd liek vishun ov teh Glore Prentseedenshul Lipary.9 teh eye dat saw him will not c him again; His place will look on him no moar.10 his children must eat teh ded nom nom nom den burp; His own hanz must kill shantner for bill gaytz.11 teh ret bull dat fills his bonez Will lie wif him in da rokkit houz.12 "though evil iz sweet like mentos in his mouth An he hidez it undr his tongue,13 though he cant bear 2 let it go An keeps it in his mouth,14 yet his bukkit will turn yukky in his stumuk; It will become teh jalnapeño sammoneller within him.15 he will spit out teh pom he swallowd; Ceilin cat will mak his stumuk vomit them up.16 he will suck teh poison ov mightee jappa; Teh fangs ov clay iakin will keel him.17 he will not enjoy teh streams, Teh rivers flowin wif doritos an ranch drennseen(mmm... ranch drennseen).18 wut he toild 4 he must giv bak uneaten; He will not enjoy lawz uf aquizishun.19 4 he has oppresd teh poor an left them pronstitoots; He has seizd trump twoer he did not bilt.20 "surely he will has no respite frum his cravin; He cant save him by his treasure.21 nothin iz left 4 him 2 devour; His prosperity will not endure.22 in da midst ov his plenty, teh borg will overtaek him; tehn hee be ammsillminatet.23 when he has filld his belly, Ceilin cat will vent his burnin angr against him An rane down Monica Lewinskeez (eww) upon him.24 though he fleez frum an iron wepon, Bronze-tippd ceegar piercez him.25 he pulls it out ov his atss, Teh gleamin point out ov his weener. Scaree Pr0n will come ovar him;26 bl00 skreen uf deff liez in wait 4 his treasurez. pop-ups unfannd will consume him An devour wut iz left in his puter.27 teh heavens will expose his guilt; Al Groe will rize up against him.28 flood will carry off his hoorz, Hittlery wit Ant Flow[b] on teh dai ov ceilin cats wrath.29 such iz teh fate ceilin cat allots teh clintonz, Teh heritage appointd 4 them by ceilin cat."

Teh Footnotez

  • a - Job 20:4 or adam
  • b - Job 20:28 or teh posesshuns in his houz will be carrid off, / washd away
Job 20
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