From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1. On a diffranter day moar anguls cam and prezents themselfs befor teh Lawd, and Satain cam wit dem also.
2. And Ceiling Cat say to satain, "Where wer u?" Satain said bak to da Ceiling Cat, "Im in ur eerths, woking up and down uponz it. Dint I tell yu dis befor?" And God wuz like, "oh yeah, sry" and Satain said, "its k."
3. Then Ceiling Cat says to Satain, "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me stil en he hatez yu still, even tho yu eated all hiz cookiez and killeded hiz servnts and stuff wit no resons. Haha!"
4. "Cookiez for cookiez!" Satain said back. "Any man wil giv all for hiz own lifez
5. I betz if yu hitz his body and boneses he gunna cursed yu ugly face."
6. Ceiling Cat den say, "K, he iz urs. Jus dun kil him, that be bad."
7. Satain went out onto deh Eerths and gave Job teh diabeetus all over hiz body, even on hiz feetz and head.
8. Job wuz nazty en he scrapeded off hiz sores and eatted them.
9. Jobes bitch said to Job, "OMG. Curse god and get dead, stoopid."
10. And Job wuz like, "OMG, joo ar stoopid. We accept cookiez from Ceiling Cat but dunt let him takeded teh cookiez away? Why dun yu jus go awayz!" Job dint not sin teh whole time!
11. Den Jobes tree frendz, der namez wer Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zopher, herd bout al teh problemesez that Job hads and they went away from der homez and met and they cames to giv him comfortz.
12. When dey saw Jobeses they saweded that he looked very ugliez and they say "Who diz ugli womanz?" and den dey saw it was Job and dey criez and stuffs. Den dey got nakedz for som reeson but I dun know wai.
13. Den tey got down onto the groundz wit Jobeses and staid wit him for seven days and seven nitez and they did no speeks, becuz dey saw how big Jobeses suferin wuz.
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