From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 "if u will return, o israel, Return 2 me," Declarez teh lord. "if u put ur detestable idols out ov mah sight An no longr go astray,2 an if in truthful, jus an righteous wai U swear, as surely as teh lord livez, Den teh nashuns will be blesd by him An in him they will glory."3 dis ar teh wut teh lord sez 2 teh doodz ov judah an 2 jerusalem: "break up ur unplowd ground An do not sow among thorns.4 circumcize yourselvez 2 teh lord, Circumcize ur hearts, U doodz ov judah an peeps ov jerusalem, Or mah wrath will break out an burn liek fire Cuz ov teh evil u has dun - Burn wif no wan 2 quench it.
Disastr frum teh north
5 "announce in judah an proclaim in jerusalem an say: Sound teh trumpet throughout teh land! Cry aloud an say: Gathr togethr! Let us flee 2 teh fortifid citiez!6 raize teh signal 2 go 2 zion! Flee 4 safety without delay! 4 im bringin disastr frum teh north, Even terrible destrucshun."7 lion has come out ov his lair; Destroyr ov nashuns has set out. He has left his place 2 lay waste ur land. Ur towns will lie in ruins Without inhabitant.8 so put on sackcloth, Lament an wail, 4 da fierce angr ov teh lord Has not turnd away frum us.9 "in dat dai," declarez teh lord, "teh king an teh officials will lose hart, Teh priests will be horrifid, An teh profets will be appalld."10 den i sed, "ah, sovereign lord, how completely u has deceivd dis peeps an jerusalem by sayin, u will has peace, when teh sword iz at r throats."11 at dat tiem dis peeps an jerusalem will be told, "a scorchin wind frum teh barren heights in da desert blows toward mah peeps, but not 2 winnow or cleanze;12 wind 2 strong 4 dat comez frum me. [a] nao i pronounce mah judgments against them."13 look! He advancez liek teh cloudz, His chariots come liek whirlwind, His horsez r swiftr than eaglez. Woe 2 us! We r ruind!14 o jerusalem, wash teh evil frum ur hart an be savd. How long will u harbor wickd thoughts?15 voice iz announcin frum dan, Proclaimin disastr frum teh hills ov efraim.16 "tell dis 2 teh nashuns, Proclaim it 2 jerusalem: A besiegin army iz comin frum distant land, Raisin war cry against teh citiez ov judah.17 they surround her liek doodz guardin field, Cuz she has rebelld against me, " Declarez teh lord.18 "ur own conduct an acshuns Has brought dis upon u. Dis ar teh ur punishment. How bittr it iz! How it piercez 2 teh hart!"19 oh, mah insied snakes, mah insied snakes! I writhe in pain. Oh, mah poundy-thing be makin' funny noises! Mah hart poundz within me, I cant keep silent. 4 i has herd teh sound ov teh trumpet; I has herd teh battle cry.20 disastr follows disastr; Teh whole land liez in ruins. In an instant mah tents r destroyd, Mah sheltr in moment.21 how long must i c teh battle standard An hear teh sound ov teh trumpet?22 "mah peeps r fools; They do not knoe me. They r senseles children; They has no understandin. They r skilld in doin evil; They knoe not how 2 do gud."23 i lookd at teh earth, An it wuz formles an empty; An at teh heavens, An their light wuz gone.24 i lookd at teh mountains, An they wuz quakin; All teh hills wuz swayin.25 i lookd, an thar wuz no peeps; Evry bird in da sky had flown away.26 i lookd, an teh fruitful land wuz desert; All itz towns lay in ruins Before teh lord, before his fierce angr.27 dis ar teh wut teh lord sez: "teh whole land will be ruind, Though im gonna not destroy it completely.28 therefore teh earth will mourn An teh heavens aboov grow dark, Cuz i has spoken an will not relent, I has decidd an will not turn bak."29 at teh sound ov horsemen an archers Evry town takez 2 flight. Sum go into teh thickets; Sum climb up among teh rockz. All teh towns r desertd; No wan livez in them.30 wut r u doin, o devastatd wan? Y dres yourself in scarlet An put on jewels ov gold? Y shade ur eyez wif paint? U adorn yourself in vain. Ur lovers despize u; They seek ur life.31 i hear cry as ov woman in labor, Groan as ov wan bearin her furst childâ€” Teh cry ov teh daughtr ov zion gaspin 4 breath, Stretchin out her hanz an sayin, "alas! Im faintin; Mah life iz given ovar 2 murderers."
- a - Jeremiah 4:12 or comez at mah command
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