Jeremiah 24

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Old Testament

 1 Doodz, aftahh teh son, Jehoiachin, awl lef Jerusalem an stuffz Ai haded a dreem dat wuz awl crazee. Ai sawded two bukets wit froot in fron of Ceiling Cat's kitteh bed2 Wun buket had niec froot an teh oder buket had sum nastee froot.

 3 An den Ceiling Cat wuz liek, "Oh hai! Wut yu see?" An I wuz liek, "Froot in deez bukets. Niec froots are niec. Bad froots are bad."

 4 Ceiling Cat den wuz in my mouf, givin me werdz. Srsly.5 "Teh good froots, awsum, srsly, liek teh runaway kittehs frum Judah dat can has go to Babylonian plaec.6 Iz gunna be up heer, watchin dem. Rly. An Ai gunna bring dem bak heer an dey gunna be maed stwong an gud.7 Dey gunna be mai kittehs, an Ai gunna be der Ceiling Cat, srsly. Ai wuv dem.

 8 "Deez bad froots, hah, Ai gunna do stuffz to dem liek teh King Kitteh of Judah, Zedekiah, an teh kittehs who folow him. Ai dun caer wer dey be, heer or Egypt.9 Iz gunna pwn dem awl. Rly. Yu dun wanna be dem. Dey gunna be sad kittehs.10 Iz gunna be in der lands, given dem bad stuff. Iz gunna gif dem fleas an liec an tickz, srsly, wit no colar to maek deez dings go bai."

Jeremiah 24
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