Jeremiah 13

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Old Testament
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1 Ceiling Cat sed: "O, hai! U byz belt an putz it on an no getz it wet, k?"2 So ai botz teh belt an putz it on.

3 An den Ceiling Cat sed:4 "Nao, u taekz teh belt an go 2 Perath an hied it in teh rox."5 An so ai goed an hidz teh belt in teh rox.

6 Den, latur, Ceiling Cat sed "Nao u goez 2 Perath an getz teh belt."7 An so ai wentz an gotz teh belt, but it wuz all durty an stuf.

8 Den Ceiling Cat sez:9 "O, hai. Dis wut Ceiling Cat sez, k? Iz gunna embarus Judah an Jerusalem liek dat.10 Dey duznt lissun 2 me an wurshipz othur catz, so deyz gunna be yoosliss!11 Bcuz ai tyd teh howse of Israel 2 me 2 be mai peepul an 2 wurship me.' Dat wut Ceiling Cat sez.

12 U sez 2 dem 'O, hai. Dis wut Ceiling Cat sez: u fil all teh watur bolz wif watur.' An if dey sez dey alreddy noz dat,13 u sez 'Ceiling Cat sez hez gunna maek all u drinkz 2 much,14 an he gunna distroi u.'"

15 U lissun, bcuz Ceiling Cat tawkin, k?

16 U givz cheezburgr 2 Ceiling Cat b4 he maeks it dark an u tripzan falls.

17 But if u no lissunz, Iz gunna cri, bcuz u gunna be priznurz.

18 U sez to king an kween: Hay, getz down frum thron, so ur crownz fallz off ur hedz."

19 An teh sitees in teh Negev wil be cloesd, an nobuddyz gunna opin dem.

20 U lukz up an seez whu coemz frum the norf. Were ur sheepz?

21 Wut u sai wen Ceiling Cat putz othur gaiz in charj? Iznt it gunna hurt?

22 An if u askz wai dis happinz, iz bcuz u iz bad.

23 Kan leppurd chainj spotz? Bad gaiz kant do gud stuf eethur.

24 "Ai scatturz u liek teh windz.

25 Dis wut ai sez u get, bcuz u furgetz me." Dat wut Ceiling Cat sez.

26 "An Iz gunna sho evrywun u iz bad.

27 Evrywun iz gunna see all teh bad stuf u didz. Hao long u gunna be bad?"

Jeremiah 13
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