James 4

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New Testament

LisN 2 teh Ceiling Cat

1 Why ppl git mad @ eachothr n stuff?2 U want cheezburgerz, but no has. U pwn, but no has. U do not has bcuz u no ask Ceiling Cat, remembre?3 When u ask, u do not has, bcuz wen u ask 4 cheezburgers u rele want teh cheezburgers for yu nd not for teh sharing and gud things. WTFXUP?

4 U catz dat have teh secks wit catz u isnt maried 2. U cant be all BFF wit teh world cuz taht is liek hate to teh Ceiling Cat n he haets yu back.5 Y u tink teh FAQ sez Ceiling Cat rele no want yu to haev the otehr Ceiling Cats?6 But he gievs us moar cheezburgers n sez:

 "Ceiling Cat haetz teh catz dat think tey is all speshul.

 But giv cheezburgerz 2 teh 1s who dont."

7 Listn 2 Ceiling Cat, K? Tel Basement Cat KTHXBYE.8 Ceiling Cat want yu to be gud. Clean teh ears and maek sure yu not haev bad thots.9 Iz ok to be sad.10 But yu shud not be sad long cuz Celing Cat will maek yu LOL. But only if yu is not stuck-upz.

11 But srsly guyz, dnt talk bad abt ohter catz behnd their baks, cuz u r practickly talkn smak bout the FAQ and Ceiling Cat not want.12 Iz only 1 Juge n he ken either give u moar cheezburgerz or taek em away. Its not ur job, so mind yur own beezwax.

Braggin Bout 2Moarrow

13 LisN up. Speshully u guyz whos liek, "I has gonna do dis n dat, n has lots cheezburgerz."14 U dont even no wuts up 4 2moarrow. U r liek a cookie dat appaerz 4 a while an den disapaerz, n nobdy rememberz wut flavr it wuz.15 Insted u shud be saien, "I has cheezburgerz if it is wut Ceiling Cat want."16 Braggin iz evul.17 If u kno teh gud but u dunt do it, u is maken teh Ceiling Cat mad.

James 4
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