Isaiah 54

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Old Testament
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Isaiah 54
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Song of Solomon Jeremiah Isaiah 53 Isaiah 55

1 “Meows if u iz cat dat no haz kittehs. U has more kittehs den womancat wit mancat, srsly,” saiz teh LOARD.

2 “Use teh blanketz and stuffz of the hoomans an maik kewl tent3 for to haz PARTEEEZ just liek ifn u haz gazillion kittehs.

4 No be skerred! I no maik u blush!!5 Stead i maiks u mai wifey YAY!!! (iz ok, iz liek i do with teh nunkittehs). Ur knew hubbie iz RLY KEWWWLLL! Iz liek, Gawd of hole ewniverse an stuffz.6 He gotz ur numbr wen u were on rebount or sumpin.”

7 And Ceiling cat sez, “ Ai only leff u for liek, a secont cuz i bring bak cheezburgerz!!1!8 Yeah, u herd. Cheezburgerz.

9 “An i no git mad wit u; liek i sez two Noahcat, i no maiks u taik bath nevr no moar.10 Cuz if teh starz dat we lookz upawn shood tumbel and fallz and teh mountins shood crumbel two teh see, i wont cry ifn u stand by mee.

11 So don be all sad in big stormz, cuz i maik u niiiice howse.12 Srsly. It will b pritty an hav catnipz.13 And ceiling cat will teech ur kittehs to chill out.

14 U is rychuss!!! So don wurry, beez happie!15 And all dem bulliez an der posseez r trippin.16 Obvies. i boobie-trappt all der weppons and stuffz.17 None of dem weppons can wurk gainst u! LOLZ!!!!1 Evn if dey trai to talk smakk, u be liek ’talk to teh hand, OK?!?’ Holla atchyo boi.” Sez teh LOARD.

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