From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Dis is what teh Ceiling Cat sez:
"where is ur mother's certificate uv divorce wit wich ai sent her away?
or to wich uv mai creditors
did ai sell you?
becus uv ur invisible errors yu wer sold;
becus uv ur transgressions ur mother wus sent away.
2 wen ai came, why wus der no one?
wen ai called, why wus der no wun to answer?
wus mai arm too short to ransom you?
do ai lack teh strength to rescue you?
by a mere rebuke ai dry up teh sea,
ai turn rivers in teh a desert;
der fish rot fur lack uv water an die uv thirst.
3 ai clothe teh sky wit darkness
an make sackcloth its covering."
4 teh sovereign Ceiling Cat has given me an instructed tongue,
to know teh word dat sustains teh weary.
him wakens me morning by morning,
wakens mai ear to listen like wun being taught.
5 teh sovereign Ceiling Cat has opened mai ears,
an ai haf no been rebellious;
ai haf no drawn back.
6 ai offered mai back to those who beat me,
mai cheeks to those who pulled owt mai beard;
ai did no hide mai face frum mocking an spitting.
7 becus teh sovereign Ceiling Cat helps me,
ai wil no be disgraced.
therefore haf ai set mai face like flint,
an ai know ai wil no be put to shame.
8 him who vindicates me is near.
who den wil bring charges aginst me?
let us face each other!
who is mai accuser?
let him confront me!
9 it is teh sovereign Ceiling Cat who helps me.
who is him dat wil condemn me?
dey wil awl wear owt like a garment;
teh moths wil eat dem up.
10 who among yu fears teh lord an obeys teh word uv him servant?
let him who walks in teh dark, who has no light,
trust in teh name uv teh lord an rely on him god.
11 but now, awl yu who lite fires an provide yourselves wit flaming torches,
go, walk in teh lite uv ur fires an uv teh torches yu haf set ablaze.
dis is what yu shall receive frum mai hand:
yu wil lie down in torment.
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