From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Revision as of 00:25, 30 April 2010 by Klutzedufus
Isaiah 42 Teh Survint of Ceiling Cat
1 "Heer is mi survint, whoom I are upholdz, mi choosended one in whoom I are deelite; I wil putz mi Spirits on himm n him wil are bringded justis 2 teh nashuns. Srsly.
2 Him are wil dont beens shouted or has a cri outt, or raez him voiss in teh streetz.
3 A broosed reed he wil dont are brokded, n a smolderin wik he wil dont are snuffed out. In fathefulllnis he wil is bringded forf justis;
4 he wil dont aer faultered or b discurajed till he are istablished justis on teh erffs. In him law teh ilindz wil put der hoep."
5 dis is wat Ceiling Cat are sezed. Srsly— he hoo are creatided teh hevanz n are strecheded dem out, hoo spred out teh erffz n al dat aer coemed out uv it, hoo givezed breff 2 its pplz, n life 2 dose hoo are wok on it:
6 "I, Ceiling Cat, are has calleded u in ritechusnis; I wil are taked hold ov ur hand. I wil keepded u nd wil maked ur 2 b a cuvnint 4 teh pplz, n a liet 4 teh jentilz,
7 2 opin eyz dat has a blinded, 2 free sum captivz from prizun n 2 reelees from teh dunjun dose hoo are sitz in teh darknisz. Srsly.
8 "Ize teh LRD; dat iz meh namez! I wil nott are givez meh glori 2 anuder or meh praze 2 idullz. Srsly.
9 Se, teh formir tingz hav tookded place, n nu tingz I are been deeclairded; b4 dey aer springz intu bein I are annownce dem 2 u. Srsly."
Song uv Prazez 2 Ceiling Cat. Srsly.
10 Sing 2 Ceiling Cat a nu song, hes praze fromz teh ends uv teh urffz, u hoo go down 2 teh see, n al dat iz in itt, u ilindz, n all hoo liv in dem.
11 Let teh dezert n itz townz raze der voisis; letz teh sedlmintz were Kedar livez has a rejoise. Let teh pplz uv Sela sing 4 joi; let dem aer shoutz from teh mountintopz.
12 Let dem are give glori 2 Ceiling Cat n proklame his praze in teh ilindz.
13 Ceiling Cat wil mrch out like a mitee man, like a wariur he wil sterr up his zeel; wit a shout he are wil been raze teh badle cri n wil triumf ovir his enemeez.
14 "4 a long timez I hav bin keepded silint, i hav bin qwiet n are holdedz mehself bak. But now, jus like a womin in chiuldbirff, I cri out, I *gasp* n *pant*. Srsly.
15 I wil laa waest teh mountinz n hilz n dri up al der vejitashun; I wil tern riverz intu ilindz n dri up teh puuls.
16 I wil leed teh blinded pplz bi wayz dey hav dont is knowlegded, along unfimileer paffs I wil gide dem; I wil tern teh darknisez intu liet b4 dem n maek teh ruff plasis smuuth. dese r teh tings I wil r bin is doned; I wil dont are 4sakez dem. Srsly.
17 But dose hoo trust in idullz, hoo are sezed to imajis, 'u r our godz,' wil b terneded bak in uddir shame.
Israel Blind and Deff
18 "Heer, you deff; luk, you blind, n see! 19 hoo has a blind but meh survint, n deff like teh messinjer I ar sended? hoo has a blind like teh 1 commided 2 meh, blind like teh survint uv Ceiling Cat?
20 u hav seen many tings, but dont has payded a atenshun; ur ears aer opin, but u heer nufin."
21 It are pleezeded Ceiling Cat 4 teh saek uv his ritechusnis 2 maek his law grate n gloreeus.
22 But dese r a pplz plundrd n lootided, all uv dem trapded in pittz or hidin awae in prizuns. Srsly. Dey hav becamed plundir, wit no 1 2 resku dem; dey hav bin maed loot, wit no 1 2 sa, "Send dem bak."
23 wich uv u wil lissin 2 dis or pae close atenshun in time 2 come?
24 hoo are handeded Jacob ovr 2 are become loot, n Israel 2 teh plundirerz? Waz it dont are beened Ceiling Cat, aganest hoom we hav sind? 4 dey wud dont folo his waze; dey dont has a obaded his law.
25 So he are poreded out on dem his bernin angurr, teh vyolinse uv war. It invellopded dem in flamez, yet dey dont has a undirstudifyzashun; it are consumeded dem, but dey dont are is tookded it to hart.
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