Isaiah 2

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Old Testament
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Ceiling Cat Has Hims a Mowntin

1 Ok so dis am wot Isaiah heerd bout Judah and Jerusalem.

2 Ceiling Cat will to havs teh bigest mowntin cuz him r kinng of awl.

3 Lotsa peeps will b liek, 'O wao, dats a sweet crib, letz to goe der.' An dey will an dey will b liek, 'Kewl.'

4 Ceiling Cat will juge betwn teh nayshunz, and for lotz of peepz; dey will beet thair saurds intwo plaushairs, and thair speers intwo prooning hookz; nayshun wont be liftin up saurd to uhther nayshun, no mawr will dey be learnin bout war.

Ceiling Cat Has Hims a Speshul Dae!1!

5 O peepz of Jacob, comz, so we can be walkin in teh lite of teh Ceiling Cat!!!!!!!

6 Fo u no lawnger followin teh wayz of ur peepz, O haus of Jacob. Like OMG, u r being ful of magical peoplez form teh eest and of soothingsayers lik teh Philistines, and u r beein all friend-lik wif forenerz.

7 Deez forenerz r havingz much silverz and goldz, n dey r havingz treazures witouts endings; dey r havingz horsez too, n dey r havingz chariots witouts endings.

8 Deyr landz is full up wit aidolz; dey bowing downz to teh werk of deyr handz, to wot deyr awn fingerz haz maed.

9 Ventually theez peepz wil be humbeld, and veryone pwnd--do not be givings fourgviness to dem, k?

10 Nter intwo teh rok, nd hied n teh dust frum teh teror of Ceiling Cat, nd frum teh supper awsom incredibl gloree of hiz magestee.

11 Teh hawty aiz of peepz wil being pwnd--nd teh pridez, taht be pwnd too, k? And Ceiling Cat, him beingz teh ownlee one who haz exhaltings, kthxbai.

12 Cuz Ceiling Cat haz dai 'gainst demz dat iz prowd nd lawfty, 'gainst dem dat iz lifftd upz nd hai;

13 'gainst teh treez dat Lebanon haz, lawfty nd lifftd up; nd 'gaint sum diffrent treez dat Bashan haz;

14 'gainst teh rlly big mowntans, nd 'gainst teh not so big hillz;

15 'gainst teh hai towre, nd 'gainst teh supper stawng wall;

16 'gainst teh bowtz dat Tarshish haz, nd 'gainst all teh kewt bowtz. Ya, if u haz someting tall, Ceiling Cat be takin away ur cheezburgers.

17 Teh kitty pride wil be shrunken, n teh kitty egoz will be reedeuced, and CEILING CAT will roxorz ur wurld.

18 N CEILING CAT says "Oh hai! All ur idolz are beelong to me!"

19 Teh kitties wil hidez evrywherz, cuz theyz skared of CEILING CAT and his angerz wen him ist pissed.

20 On dat day, teh kitties wil thro out teh silvr n gold idolz.

21 Thoes kitties wil be srsly skared of CEILING CAT.

22 Don't chill wit thoz kitties. They haz no cheezburgrz for uz.

Isaiah 2
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