From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 A orackul about Damascus: "Look, Damascus in da future not a city; more like when da dog knocks ovah da trashcan.
2 All teh kittehs will leev da citys of Aroer an jus mouses live dere, not skeered of teh kittehs who no live dere no more.
3 Ephraim's awesum box fort will be teh ruined, liek teh boss in Damascus; Itty bitty Aram look like teh awesumness of teh Israelites," sez teh Ceiling Cat.
4 "On dat caturday, teh awesum of Jacob will be pwned. His cookies will all be eated.
5 It wil be liek a kitteh eating kibbles and nom nom nom food from teh can- liek when teh kittehs can has cheezburgers in teh valley of Rephaim.
6 But some kibbles stay in teh bowls, more in bigger bowls," sez teh Ceiling Cat of Israel.
7 On dat caturday, teh kittehs be lookin at teh Ceiling Cat an say "Oh Hai."
8 No lookin at wut they did there wif dere pawses, no lookin at scratchin posts, no lookin at catnip.
9 Dey will leave teh awesum boxes cuz of teh Israelites an teh boxes will be empty an sad.
10 U forget teh Ceiling Cat an all his cheezburgers. So ur catnip plants, worth lots of monies,
11 An u care for dem an no eatses it, an brings to bud, when u try to make catnip brownies, u can't has cuz it will be teh day of badness.
12 Teh meowing of many kittehs- howling like dere in teh showers!
13 Even tho dey meow an howl, teh Ceiling Cat yells at dem and dey run away skeered, like mouses chased into a little hole in teh wall.
14 Nitetime will be teh fright time. Ceiling Cat will end teh bad ones, who eats our foods and takes our stuffz.
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