Hosea 4

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Jump to: navigation, search
Old Testament
Bible5.gif

Ceiling Cat iz no pleezd

1 Oh hai, me Ceiling Cat sez to u, Israel guise: Ceiling Cat iz no happy, u maked me a cookie an u eated it, no srsly.2 An u swer, lie, an do teh killz, an teh stealz an u cheatin on ur gf's OMG!!1!!3 Iz so pissed dat u has no moar foodz fer u, an no watur, an no petz, an no buttsecs, an no nuffin.

4 Ur grounded. Srsly.

5 Cuz ur bad, ai was be sayin "iz it can be buttsecs an then u die teim" to ur mum.

6 An also: mai kittehs has no Internetz, wai? coz u evil ppl sai DO NOT WANT, so ai sai stfu NO U! an u go to hell an u will has Win Vista forevr7 cuz teh moar u were, teh badder u were: i gun get u bad, i gun get ur laif flippd turnd upsied down.8 An no moar cheezburgrz fer u.

9 D00d, ai gonna punish u, u, an even u who read dis. but if u r gud, u can has cheezburgrz.10 cuz if ai doan giev teh cheezburgr, an if u keep bean cheep whorz, u will fail leik teh Exxon-Valdez.

11 Yez, u was all down bitchin pimpin an moar bitchez. An wine. It was nevar Ceiling Cat tiem.12 U bitchez.13 Goed bitchin an pimpin on teh sofaz, on teh treez, on teh beachez an teh streetz, cuz u like surprise buttsecs an u r hurny liek mad rabbits.14 But, if ur gf's or daughtahs becoem bitchez, Iz cool wif it. If u r not, u gonna go down.

15 Srsly.

16 Can it be napperz teim nao?

17 But ai was forgettin: Let Ephraim aloen.18 Coz is a bitch.19 An will die of AIDS. ya rly!

Hosea 4
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Daniel Joel Hosea 3 Hosea 5
Personal tools