Hosea 1

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{{Old Testament}}
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{{warning|This page does not use verse paragraphs. Please double-check this and remove this warning.}}
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{{verse
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|1=Teh wurdz ov CEILING CAT taht camez unto Horsea whoz wuz teh suns ov Beeri an wahtevurz, bak inz teh dais wehn Jeroboam wuz teh poopz an stuvz.}}
|1=Teh wurdz ov CEILING CAT taht camez unto Horsea whoz wuz teh suns ov Beeri an wahtevurz, bak inz teh dais wehn Jeroboam wuz teh poopz an stuvz.}}
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[[Category:Hosea|Hosea 1]]
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--[[User:Elc|ELC]] 22:01, 23 October 2007 (EDT)
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Joel]]|PrevBook=[[Daniel]]|NextChap=[[Hosea 2]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Joel]]|PrevBook=[[Daniel]]|NextChap=[[Hosea 2]]}}
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[[Category:Hosea|Hosea 1]]
 

Revision as of 19:28, 24 October 2007

Old Testament
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Warning This page does not use verse paragraphs. Please double-check this and remove this warning.

1 Teh wurdz ov CEILING CAT taht camez unto Horsea whoz wuz teh suns ov Beeri an wahtevurz, bak inz teh dais wehn Jeroboam wuz teh poopz an stuvz.

2 Teh begininz ov dis wurd (bi cieling cat). He sedz sumtihn liek, Go getz a whyfe ov whoredumz an spawnz sum litle whoredumz babiez: fur teh land cummitz big whoredumz. Endz ov tranzmishun.

3 So he goez an get hotz chik namez Gomer an dey hadz HRBLE GOEZ WHERE?? wifoutz fun leik buttsecks or bluwjobz cuz taht stil wuznt inventedz yet. Dey spawnedz onez son.

4 Ceiling Cat goez speackz to Hosea ugainz an sez namez y00r ugliez sun Jezreel so i canz avenge sum blud uponz teh howse ov Jehu an stopz all teh kingdumz stuvfz in Isrealz.

5 An itz gunna pass daht day, daht i willz breakz sum bowz ov isreal an stuvfz, in teh valley ov y00r ugly sonz, Jezreel.

6 Tehn daht hot chikz spawnedz moor, poppinz outz a grlie. An Ceiling Cat gitz awl bossiez uhgainz an sez to namez it Loruhamah, so daht hez canz stopz all mersie an taekz isreal houze awaiyz.

7 But Ceiling Cat sez he gunna havez mersiez on Judah cuz dey dont masturbait an dey dizkriminaet gayz an havz himz fur a monotheistic god. an Ceiling Cat iz gunna save tehm, no onez elze wil.

8 Den Laruhamah wuz sum kindz ov whore an gotz pregnintz an spawnez a son.

9 Ceiling Cat wantz ta namez mo0r babiez so he sez namez it Loammi becuz i am notz st00pidz.

10 Cieling Cat alzo sez daht teh numbrz ov jew childrnz wilz be too maniez liek graenz ov sandz on beech an daht jew childz are hiz ppl becuz he not st00pidz.

11 Den teh jew childz getz togethr an partiez wif booze an pikcz kingz to PWN new kingdumz an den daht day becumz Jezreel. Endz ov tranzmishun.

Hosea 1
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