From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
A sabbath-rest 4 da peeps ov ceilin cat
1 therefore, since teh promize ov enterin his rest still standz, let us be careful dat none ov u be findz 2 has fallen short ov it.2 or we also has had teh gospel preachd 2 us, jus as they did; but teh mesage they herd wuz ov no value 2 them, cuz dose hoo herd did not combine it wif faith.[a]3 Now we hoo has believd entr dat rest, jus as ceilin cat has sed, "so i declard on oath in mah angr, They shall nevr entr mah rest. "[b] an yet his werk has been finishd since teh creashun ov teh wurld.4 for somewhere he has spoken bout teh seventh dai in thees werdz: "an on teh seventh dai ceilin cat restd frum all his werk."[c]5 and again in da pasage aboov he sez, "they shall nevr entr mah rest."6 it still remains dat sum will entr dat rest, an dose hoo formerly had teh gospel preachd 2 them did not go in, cuz ov their disobedience.7 therefore ceilin cat again set certain dai, callin it todai, when long tiem latr he spoke thru david, as wuz sed before: "todai, if u hear his voice, do not harden ur hearts."[d]8 for if Joshua had given them rest, ceilin cat wud not has spoken latr bout anothr dai.9 There remains, den, sabbath-rest 4 da peeps ov ceilin cat;10 for anyone hoo enters ceilin cats rest also rests frum his own werk, jus as ceilin cat did frum his.11 Let us, therefore, mak evry effort 2 entr dat rest, so dat no wan will fall by followin their example ov disobedience.12 For teh word ov ceilin cat iz livin an activ. Sharpr than any double-edgd sword, it penetratez even 2 dividin soul an spirit, joints an marrow; it judgez teh thoughts an attitudez ov teh hart.13 Nothin in all creashun iz hidden frum ceilin cats sight. Evrythin iz uncoverd an laid bare before teh eyez ov him 2 whom we must giv akownt.
Jesus is teh great high priest!
14 Therefore, since we has great high priest hoo has gone thru teh heavens,[e] Jesus teh son ov ceilin cat, let us hold firmly 2 teh faith we profes.15 for we do not has high priest hoo iz unable 2 sympathize wif r weaknesez, but we has wan hoo has been temptd in evry wai, jus as we r - yet wuz without sin!16 Let us den approach teh throne ov grace wif confidence, so dat we cud receiv mercy an find grace 2 halp us in r tiem ov need!
- a - Hebrews 4:2 lotz da manuscripts cuz they did not share in da faith ov dose hoo obeyd
- b - Hebrews 4:3 psalm 95:11; also in verse 5
- c - Hebrews 4:4 gen. 2:2
- d - Hebrews 4:7 psalm 95:7,8
- e - Hebrews 4:14 or gone into heaven
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