Hebrews 10

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New Testament
Jeebus Gives Up Cheezburger 4 U. Srsly

1 Da rulz is only beta of da cool fings to coem - not release vershun. So da kittehs dat onlee give da sakrificez kant b perfect.2 If dey wer, dey cud haf stopped wif de sacrificing. Cause dey wud have had bafs and not been guilty no morz.3 But da sacrifice sez u still bad kitteh,4 cuz blud kant makes u kleen.5 So when Jeebus come, him sez,

"Sacrifice and gifts you DO NOT WANT, but u makes me a bodi;
6 burnded offerings n sin offerings no makes u happi.
7 Den I sez, 'Iz here - i has own thread in forum - I do wut u sez, Ceiling Cat.'"

8 Furst him sez, "Sakrificez and gifts, burnded ofrings n sin ofrings no makes u happi" (But da rulz sez u must has dem).9 Den him sez, "I'z here, I do wut u sez." He pwns 1st to make 2th.10 An so we iz holee bcuz Jeebus giv last sacrifice. Srsly.

11 Evreh day, da priests do dem jobs; ober and ober him give offering, dat no remoofs Invisible Error.12 But wen dis priest offered for all timez oen sacrifice for da Invisible Error, him sat at rite of Ceiling Cat.13 Since den, him waiten 4 him ennemeez to be him feet rest,14 bcuz bai him sacrifice, everyone bein made holee iz holee foreverz. Srsly.15 Hover Cat sez to. furst him sez:16 Ceiling Cat promizes aftr dat iz puttin mah rulz in dey hrbl and they chezebrgr.17 Den him sez, "Srsly, Iz gona be furgeted al dem chezburgrz dey eatd bfor"18 Wen dez be furgeted, u iznt gona haz to gived Celing Cat tey sakrificez wen uz bad kitteh.19 K bros, snce we got dem confidnce go to Ceiling by Jeebus blod20 Wez geted neu way thru him harbl21 Since we has grate preest at Ceiling Cat hous22 Get close to Celing Cat after taked baff23 We has to alwayz be faithfol to teh Ceiling Cat. Srsly.24 And we has to think aboot give other kittehs Cheezburgrz.25 We has to has teh meeting, even tho some kittehs DON"T LIKE. U has to tell dem to go to teh meeting. U has to do dis even mor latr.

No Cheezburgerz 4 u if u does teh Invisible Errorz

26 If wez keep on wit teh Invisible Errorz aftur we gets truf, no sakrifiz for Invisible Errorz or cheezburgerz for you,27 but only getting pwned and pwned and getting burned for teh enimez of teh Ceiling Cat.28 nE1 who no lieks the law of Moses died on teh testimonez of 2 r 3 kittehs,29 How much more do u think a kitteh getz pwned who disses teh Happy Cat undr pawz, whos treated no gud the blud of teh Covnant that sanktified him and who haz insalted da HovrCat?30 For we noe him who sez "I will pwns and pwns, srsly' and "Teh Lord will judj hiz pplz".31 Iz no gud thing to get pwned by teh Ceiling Cat. kthxbi

Hang In Derz

36 Ya has to presafear, so when yuz dun wut Ceiling Cat sez, u can has cheezburger.

37 "4 aeftr a sml tyme, him w0h iz 2 cum shall has flavorz; bt shll n0t d3lay."38 "Bt mae jst 1 cn lives bi cheezeburgerz n if him drwlings getz wet i taek n0 pleashurez en his."

39 We r no amung teh pussies w0h goes and getz wet, bt of does w0h has cheeseburgerz n has flavorz

Hebrews 10
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