From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Me goes on meh chimneys and chills with Ceiling Cat,he sayz future and I sayz ansurs aftr he slappses me an taeks meh cheezburgers
CEILING CAT'S answer
2 So Ceiling Cat sez: "here's a tablet, u better fucking get this." 3 "I knoes u be waitin 4 a revelashun, but these things take time. Itz comin tho, u wait." (Check back of book if u can't wait) 4 "n this d00d here, his desirez not right, but all these kittehs still think he's pretty fucking cool"
5 "I mean, he's all drunk n greedy n arrogant n stuff, but evryones liek, OMG BFF!"
6 "this guy needz sum srs hatin. Needs to be remindin 'woe to thee who b stealin all those cookiez'."
7 "Cuz one day all those kittehs gonna want they cookiez back, and then it's gonna suck for him"
8 "Y? Cuz you stole all teh cookies, yeah u rly effed stuff up dis time"
9 "Woe to him who get his cookiez by unjust gain, to set his foodbowl on high, to escape the clutches of ruin!
10 ou has plottd teh ruin ov lotz da peoplez, shamin ur own houz an forfeitin ur life.
11 teh stonez ov teh wall will cry out, an teh beams ov teh woodwork will echo it.
12 woe 2 him hoo buildz city wif bloodshd an establishez town by crime!
13 has not CEILING CAT determind dat teh peeps labor iz only fuel 4 da fire, dat teh nashuns exhaust themselvez 4 nothin?
14 da earth will be filld wif teh knowledge ov teh glory ov CEILING CAT, as teh cheez covr teh brgr.
15 woe 2 him hoo givez drink 2 his neighbors, pourin it frum teh wineskin till they r drunk, so dat he can gaze on their nakd bodiez.
16 u will be filld wif shame instead ov glory. nao it ur turn! drink an be exposd [g]! teh cup frum teh CEILING CAT rite pawz iz comin around 2 u, an disgrace will covr ur glory.
17 teh violence u has dun 2 lebanon will overwhelm u, an ur destrucshun ov animals will terrify u. 4 u has shd kittehs blood; u has destroyd landz an citiez an evry1 in them
18 ov wut value iz an idol, since kitteh has carvd it? or an image dat teachez liez? 4 kittehz hoo makez it trusts in his own creashun; he makez idols dat cant mrow.
19 woe 2 him hoo sez 2 wood, come 2 life! or 2 lifeles stone, waek up! can it giv guidance? it coverd wif gold an silvr; thar iz no breath in it.
20 but teh Ceiling Cat iz in his holy temples; silencin teh earthz w/ hiz awezum."
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